The importance of lists...

There are times when I need to work though a bit of a writer's block and one way I have of doing this is to make lists of things.   Yesterday I was feeling the pressure of not having enough posts waiting in line to "go live" on my blog, and so the list making began.  Before I tell you what I came up with though, I have to confess that I am a list maker by nature.  I make lists every single day of my life -- or almost every single day.  I make these To Do lists so that I don't forget things, so that I feel productive, and... simply because I love to check items off after they have been accomplished.  I do so love those check-marks. There is little that makes me feel like I have utilized my time well more than a fully x'd out list at day's end.  What can I say?  I know there are many out there who do the same thing -- with their own personal touches. I have asked around. (I even know someone who crosses out the entire line in various colors of magic marker.  She is totally "normal" is all other aspects of her life -- as far as I can tell.)

Anyway -- back to the writer's block list making thing. For some reason I began to focus on peeves yesterday. I worked diligently on making a list of things that annoy me beginning with my compulsion to fold fitted sheets neatly and ending with Kim Jong-un's haircut.  (Oh come on -- you know who I mean. Seriously....)  Have you seen pictures of his wife, by the way?  Ri Sol-ju is really quite cute.  Suddenly I find myself wondering what they talk about at the dinner table. (Talk about walking on egg shells.)   

So -- to refocus and to move away from scary stuff --  here is my list of things that annoy me:

• folding fitted sheets
• everything about the metric system
• that I can never remember how to pronounce nuclear or how to spell prescription 
• that I always have to look up the difference between affect and effect 
• that there is no "x" in espresso
• the way President Obama skips as he deplanes and that he doesn't even hold on to the railings. (Show-off)
• Hillary Clinton's clothing -- style and colors
• Kim Jong-un's haircut.

Please feel free to add some of your favorite annoyances in the comment area or share with me the next time I run into you.  I would love to know....  I would also like to know if you will confess to being one of "us" as far as the actual list making is concerned. It's not a bad thing.  Lists are important.  

Roller Coaster

I have never been able to understand those people who raise their arms in the air and scream in delight when riding a roller coaster.  I actually avoid riding roller coasters, but if I did climb aboard, I would be belted in and hanging on for dear life.  I am a "seat-belted hanger-oner".  I don't like sudden turns and drops; I don't embrace the fear of the unexpected.  I don't think danger is fun. Confession : When my children were young, I lied to them -- telling them that I was unable to ride the scary rides because of an old neck injury.  They turned out very well in spite of this dishonesty.

I suppose that life is like many different carnival rides, but I think it is mostly like a roller coaster.  Life comes at you with a lot of sudden turns and drops in combination with all the fears generated by the unexpected and unknown.  I have to think that everyone experiences these changes in a lifetime.  I have known people who go through life loving these unexpected and the potentially dangerous changes. Some even seek wild adventures, but I have never understood them and have mostly kept my distance from them. I watch from the wings. I watched one such individual all throughout my childhood and into adulthood. He was like the brother I never had.  I watched him for his entire life -- from a distance, of course.  His joy in raising his arms on the downward runs of the coaster frightened me.  All such danger seekers/danger lovers frighten me.  I sometimes wonder why this is.  I wonder if it is a 'bad" thing. Then I figure that I am who I am, so get over it.  It really is okay to be a "seat-belted hanger oner". I am comfortable with it.

So anyway -- I will never drive a race car or climb to the highest peak, but I have learned the satisfaction of raising children who turned into wonderful adults and have enjoyed the pleasures and comfort of a warm home. I will never be famous or discover the cure for cancer, but I have known the special closeness of a sister, the strength of family and the comfort of unconditional love.  I will never fight a bull or parachute out of an airplane, but I have learned the patience of planting gardens, the joy of working with young people, and the deep peace of holding a sleeping grandchild.

Like yours, my roller coaster ride has had its share of sudden turns and drops. In reaction to this I have expended a great deal of energy simplifying my life -- perhaps too much so.  I sometimes wonder if the fear of hurt gets in the way of joy, but I am a happy person -- totally content with the ways things are.  It is what it is.  It is also, in some ways, what I have made it to be. There aren't many things in life that a person can control, but there are a few.

When I worked with young people, we spent some time discussing the ride of life - how one cannot always control or anticipate what comes, but can usually have a say in how to react.  We considered how no one ever fully lives the life he/she intended.   We talked about how the scary turns and drops have a way of challenging us and of evoking the fundamental core of who we are as human beings.  Sometimes the discovery is disappointing.  That, too, is just the way it is... a trip, a fall, an analysis, a start over... as we slowly climb the hill and begin again.   A goal perhaps may be to enjoy as much of the ride as possible - to make the best of of the hard and even of the scary things. Options are sometimes limited, but that's okay too - especially if you have no say in the matter. A sense of humor helps. 

The Cupboard

When my children were small, they sometimes played in a large cupboard that held pots, pans and unwieldy pieces of Tupperware when not otherwise occupied by one or both of them. We called it the fat cupboard. They would empty it out, crawl in there with a dog or two, and enjoy the peace. My daughter especially enjoyed this "secret spot". If I found that she had come up missing and there were pots and lids scattered about -- I had a good idea of where she was.  I just left her there and enjoyed a little break.  It wasn't as if she couldn't get out or anything. The doors opened easily. I figured she was imagining or sorting something out -- both worthwhile activities.

A while back I had a conversation with a friend who had read a column in a magazine about how we sometimes forget to appreciate the ordinary in our lives... that we get caught up in the mundane routine and overlook the special details that really are there in "everyday stuff". She pointed out that it is understandable that we do this.  She spoke of living through and surviving those tumultuous teen years and the uncertain 20's and 30's of our own lives only to watch the struggles of our own kids' tumultuous teens and young adult years...then of how in what seems a brief moment, we find ourselves in our middle age years, sharing in the difficulties of the elder years of parents - if we are still lucky enough to have parents. You get the idea and obviously she had given it some thought.  She suggested that it is sometimes hard, if not impossible, to be fully mindful during routine chores like making beds even if you remember that it is important to appreciate the small things in life, including the satisfaction found in doing even really small jobs well.  She mentioned other special details like quick hugs from grandkids, and kids, finger prints on the frig, puppy nose prints on the front door and being able to sit and read in the afternoon, or to fall asleep, but think you are reading. There are special details in our everyday lives that we miss. Perhaps the peace of a brief quiet time is a part of that.

It is sometimes hard to "see the magic" especially when caught in the midst of what has come to be termed the "sandwich generation" in which lives are caught between the responsibilities of caring for those of the generations on each side of our own.  It's a process, one that people usually survive relatively intact.  They come out at the end of the other side of that tunnel to emerge into a lighter, less heavy place.  It's a nice place to be if you can get there -- if for only a short or interrupted while. Figuratively speak, I am thinking that, from time to time, even as older generation adults, many of us could use a roomy cupboard where everyone would know to leave us alone for a bit so that we can imagine or sort something out -- maybe even consider the special details.  After all, we can always get out and rejoin the fray when we want or have to, and in the meantime, who couldn't use a little quiet peaceful time? It's restorative.  It's not an age related issue.  If we can have a dog we love with us -- all the better.

Moments in Time

We have all had those moments that are so significant, so poignant, or perhaps so shocking that we will never forget where we were and what we were doing when we first learned what happened. 

• I was a Freshman in high school -- in English class -- when the principal announced over the PA system that JFK had been shot in Dallas. I was still in that classroom when it was announced that he had not survived. (1963)
• I was in the dining hall at college during final exam week of my Freshman year when I heard that Bobby Kennedy had been assassinated. (1968)
• I watched Neil Armstrong walk on the moon while sitting on the floor in front of the family TV.  I was setting my hair in brush rollers when Armstrong took "...one giant leap for mankind". (1969)
• I was teaching senior high school English during the terrorist attacks of 9/11 and was told to keep the TV off in my classroom.  An administrator was standing outside my classroom and said to me, "Our country is under attack."  My response, "What are you saying?  No...!" (2001)

I guess what has me thinking about this phenomenon is that is it is thirty years ago today that the space shuttle "Challenger" blew up in front of all who were watching on televisions all over the world. It was a disaster that was to forever change the face of NASA and the space program in this country. Live on TV, I distinctly remember telling myself over and over that perhaps the astronauts could have survived. I was in total denial for some moments.  That's is how I tend to react at first -- almost without exception. I am very good at denial.

On the other side of the coin, I think it is important to realize that we all have personal memories of significant events that make only our own personal history books.  Fortunately for us it seems that the personal moments that stay with us can be happy ones as well. Strange how these "emotional memories" of both the good and not so good varieties pop up at the most unexpected times and replay in our minds. I am thankful for the happy ones...of which, it is important to remember, there are many. Let's try to hang onto and talk about the good as well as the horrific -- both are a part of the history of our lives.

If not now, when? It's a win win.

"If not now, when?" seems to be one of the advertising catch phrases of a new Weight Watchers' campaign. I like it.  Plus -- I think it can apply to any number of aspects of a person's life -- not just to getting control of a weight issue.  A few months ago I started to develop a bit of an exercise regimen after a period of relative inactivity. I was to the point of feeling like a real slug and beginning not to care that my feet seemed to be stuck in "slugdom". I distinctly remember telling a very good friend that it was time for me to get moving or just forget it altogether -- sort of a now or never thing. ("If not now, when?") I was tired of thinking about it.  "Just Do It", "No pain;no gain" and all of that sort of thing were running through my mind on an all too regular basis.  It was time to move, to develop a more active life style.  I knew it then as I do now.  As much as I love to snuggle under a good afghan while reading or watching television, it was time to don a good pair of sneakers and get some fresh air. 

Fortunately for me Northwest Pennsylvania experienced a relatively easy beginning to winter -- lasting until the second week of January. Around here winter begins in October, so I figure we are way ahead of the game. Although this week has been wintry, we have had under a half a dozen big snow falls in lieu of the normal six feet of snow by now.  I have made it a personal goal to be outside every single day since October that it hasn't been icy. (The potential to fall and not be able to get up is no longer a joke in my "group".) I have walked in mist, in rain, and even in sleet at times. It feels good.  Many times I haven't even had to wear a winter coat -- just multiple layers of heat retaining fabric. (Remember when all we had were rain and snow absorbing wool coats and mittens that would freeze solid?) Anyway -- I am in love with El Nino. Typical of us who live in snow country, we always are aware of the other side of the coin -- La Nina, but I will think about that later.  For now, with the exception of the occasional cold snap and foot of snow/hour,  I am simply enjoying the higher than normal temperatures and the lesser than normal amounts of snow. 

Just out of curiosity, I researched this phenomenon on the NOAA and The Weather Channel websites, checked out a relevant article by the "Capital Weather Gang" that appeared in The Washington Post, and of course -- closely perused my favorite and most reliable sources -- the two versions of the Farmers' Almanac.  By they way -- they all agree that with the exception of an unexpected "precipitation anomaly" (freak storm), it is going to be a really light winter for those of us here in Northwest PA.  Nice...  pleasant deviation from the normal. I have been witness to dandelions in bloom and worms on the pavement -- in December.... I also know that El Nino has negative effects on many areas as well.  I am seriously sorry for that, but you know what?  It's nice to have a break from hard winters around here, and since I cannot control the weather, I am taking advantage of that break. 

So.... Sounds to me like now is the perfect time to get moving...a window of opportunity that doesn't come very often around here. If I am wrong?  I will be in better shape to shovel.  It's a win win.  

FYI -- the official first day of Spring is March 20th -- just three days after St. Patrick's Day.  Just mentioning....  Is it possible that we will miss our Northwest Pennsylvania snow country St. Patrick's Day Storm this year?  I could cope if we do.  You?

"Three duhs and you're out!"

I have no idea what your experiences are with home repair, but I have to tell you, I have made the effort.   At one time, years ago, I fixed my own oven for several years – ordering parts by snail mail one after another – sort of a trial and error type of repair -- trying everything under the sun so that I could prepare meals in something other than a slow cooker or electric frying pan and do things like bake a birthday cake for my then toddler who is now 38 -- I think.  No YouTube videos back in that day – I borrowed and purchased books on how to repair things like leaky toilets, and researched how to fix it when you touched up a wall covered with crayon marks with oil based glossy paint when it should have been water based flat -- this -- the day before you had twenty guests coming for a bridal shower. I am thinking that you may have had similar experiences. I still don't find them amusing....

It's probably important to mention at this point that sometimes a project takes a bit longer or a lot longer and costs more to "do it yourself" than it would have cost to have had someone do the work who actually knows what they are doing. Some lessons are hard learned.  I feel it is also important to mention that I never try to fix my Jeep or tinker with something that might explode due to my ignorance.  Moving on ...

If there were yellow pages readily available today, I would be tempted to use them to find someone to put the screen protector on the face of my cell phone so that there are no bubbles,  Oops  --  forgot about Google Search or other more current options). I am so frustrated with this!  I have ruined the screen protector I bought some time ago to replace the one I had somehow scratched and cracked in several places. I now have a package of three rather inexpensive ones on order from Amazon and have found a YouTube video on how to attach them.  The process involves a rather complicated process of using sticky paper as a hinge of some sort.. I am prepared to watch this video repeatedly until I can figure it all out -- hopefully before I ruin all three of the new screen protectors as well. This is all so exhausting! If I don’t manage to make one of the ones I ordered online work, I am going to quit.  I hardly ever drop my cell or put it in my purse with scratchy stuff anyway – famous last words.  It’s a case of “three duhs and you’re out”.  It is sometimes so hard to keep up with the latest.  Would you agree? 

(I was going to end this blog at this point -- but...)

~~~~~~

Okay -- here's an update on this whole screen protector "challenge". My daughter was looking at my cell phone and, techno savvy as she is, tried to explain to me - patiently and without laughing - that what I thought was the actual screen protector was simply a plastic sheet that should be removed and tossed away. (I don't remember the directions saying one thing about throwing away anything - seriously.) Anyway -- I had not removed the plastic protective sheet from the actual screen protector - thus condemning myself to trying to see the face of my cell through a cloudy and bubbled surface.  Much to her further amusement, it took awhile for me to understand what she was saying and for her to convince me of this. I admit that I was getting a bit angry in response to the frustration of trying to figure out what she was trying to explain so nicely and patiently to me. I am not even going to tell you how long I have been struggling with not being able to clearly see the screen of my cell.  As one of my cousins says, "I am pretty sure I was in the line for ice cream when the technical part of the brain was being passed out".  (This cousin, by the way, often has the most apt way of wording things to capture the moment.  Nice... and thank you.) 

Further update... My Amazon order arrived with the three new screen protectors.  I am keeping them on hand for the next time.  

Burning the candle at both ends...

Our Mom had some wonderful expressions that I sometimes hear coming out of my own mouth.  I particularly remember her talking about feeling like she was "behind the eight ball".  For years I had no idea whatsoever what she was talking about.  I totally get it now, and unlike her, I don't even have a laundry room packed from floor to ceiling with boxes of Girl Scout cookies that need to be distributed to all the members of the troop.

Another of her particularly apt phrases was "burning the candle at both ends". Coming off a busy holiday season not so long ago, I am thinking that I am not alone in having felt both "behind the eight ball" and like I have been "burning the candle at both ends".  It's not always easy to make the holiday special for our families. For all of you out there who know what I mean -- Good job on that! Aren't you glad you could make it all happen?  Now -- we need to take some time for ourselves and maybe even put our feet up for a bit now and then. There is always tomorrow to "make a dent in things" (another of our Mom's favorite phrases).