A Bond Among Strangers

Recently I noticed  that a lot of people were waving at me as I drove down the road.  You know how dark windshields are these days -- you can only see the hand waving and not the face?  I was a little confused. Why so many waves?  I checked to see that my tailgate was closed and then --  thought about it and decided that people were waving at my new vehicle thinking that I was someone else.  That was it for sure.  There are a lot of vehicles like mine out there.  Then I noticed that it was only other Jeep Wrangler drivers who were waving at me.  What?  I mentioned this phenomenon to my cool/with-it daughter,  who suggested that it could be similar to how motorcyclists "wave" to each other -- a sort of comradery.  I wondered.  So -- I "hit" Google as I often do nowadays when confronted with some new thing, term, happening, etc. (I want to at least try to keep up with things.  I even know someone who has ordered an Apple Watch.)

This is what I found. According to several sources, including the Urban Dictionary, there is something called The Jeep Wave.  Jeep Talk even has an official "Guide to The Jeep Wave" which goes into humorous detail in delineating:

• the variety of acceptable waves
• the hierarchy of Jeeps, including a myriad of sub-categories
• the rules of the waving process
• the various explanations as to the origin of the wave

Jeep Talk has even assigned a point value to individual Jeeps based on age, experience, equipment, modifications, and my personal favorite -- battle scars, including scars on the driver that "Must be Jeep-related" in order to count (proof may be required).  Of all Jeeps, Wranglers of any vintage rank the highest -- of course. The older and more banged up the better -- apparently. There are even Jeep Wave Stickers and Decals available on E-bay and Amazon. I even saw one type of Jeep Wave in a Jeep TV commercial recently.  It's a whole other world out there that I am just now discovering.  

I wanted to share this information and experience with my daughter, son-in-law, and smart/cute grandkids, so last Saturday, we all piled into the Wrangler and headed to Duran's Farm Store on the "low" road between Waterford and Erie, PA.  We encountered several Wranglers and several Jeep waves as my son-in-law was driving/trying out my new vehicle.  We really "got into" the whole experience. Given our location,  I could not help but think that if Jeeps had been around in the Waterford/Fort Le Boeuf area during colonial times, George Washington would have had one for sure in which to cross French Creek on his way to deliver that message to the French.  Anyway -- it was fun.  Then -- when my daughter was driving on the way home, two of the Wranglers we met did not wave.  Oh no!  Either they didn't have "with it" drivers -- or -- were just not in a friendly mood -- or....  let's face it - sometimes 4-door Wranglers, like mine, are met with disdain by older, more well-used 2-door Wranglers. There is a hierarchy to be sure.  Plus -- I keep the doors on and take my Wrangler through a car wash. For sure --there are the "too conservative" (scaredy-cat) and the "too clean"  factors to consider also.  Notwithstanding the hierarchy,  I have to admit that we all heartily booed the non-wavers.  As a follow-up mention  -- my son-in-law shared with me the next day that he was totally snubbed earlier that morning when he sheepishly waved at a Wrangler --  from his Subaru.  It's not an equal playing field, I guess.

Point of interest -- along with bikers, who have their own wave and protocol, I read that Mini Cooper drivers also have their own wave.  What fun is this?  In times that sometimes seem harsh and cold, there are total strangers reaching out to one another to say a fun hello.  It's a bond among strangers for sure.  I am thinking that we need more fun things like this.   

What If ...?

Do you sometimes find yourself playing the "What if ..." game?

• What if I try and my plan to ... doesn't work?
• What if I ask and the answer is ...?
• What if my encounter with ... doesn't turn out the way I thought it would?

I left out the details in the questions above on purpose. Others have their own specifics that they could fill in to make their own "What if..." list. Think about it for a minute or two. Does it seem to you that thinking about the "What ifs..." may not be a good thing? Why do we do this "What if...?" thing to ourselves?  I wonder how many sleep interrupted nights there are out there for those who wonder what if the alarm clock doesn't go off...?  (I apologize to those of you who will now add that one to your list.) 

The thing is -- I know that I am not alone in "playing" this game. A lot of us spend time floundering about in the "What if ..." game. I even wonder if every human being does this at least at some point? Is this phenomenon cultural or do people all over the world do this to themselves? Was this happening in the 13th century? Maybe we should give all this "what if... business" some thought. Seriously -- this seeming waste of time ranks right up there with the time-honored -- "Try not to think about it", "Put that on the shelf for now" or "I should have said...".  

When in that "iffy" state of mind, I always remind myself of something our Mom used to say when difficult circumstances were looming. She would say,   "I am a fatalist ...whatever is written on the wind."  ....   Those words may have offered a bit of comfort to me for a little while, but they never even once helped over the long term. Yet -- how kind of her to try to ease us through the situation -- whatever it was. I wonder if it worked for her to leave it up to the wind? I hope so. I sincerely do. 

Wouldn't we be better off if we could somehow train ourselves to think about things a little differently?  Maybe if we start slowly...  What if we could...? What if there are people out there who have already overcome this and are just sitting back watching with a smile and waiting for us "what iffers" to catch up? Or -- what if it is not a total waste of time and energy? What if there some important lesson to be learned? What if there is something I am missing?  Good grief...  What if...?  Does anyone out there have an answer?

The Klutz Factor Revisited

At the end of January, I posted a blog entitled “The Klutz Factor” in which I explored the family tendency to do all things Klutz.  I then went on through the rest of the winter “walking” most carefully across ice and snow ever fearful of the big slip and slide crash.  The snow and ice gradually melted and disappeared (knock on wood), so what did I do after making it through an entire winter without a fall?  I tripped and fell in my own living room.  Good grief.  I feel compelled at this point to offer a sincere thank you to the Elgin Beaverdam ambulance crew and volunteers as well as to our wonderful Corry Memorial Hospital staff, both of whom were beyond excellent in their care.  (It was not quite a case of “I’ve fallen and I can’t get up” – but nevertheless – it was more than a little scary.  However – it was not so scary that I won’t try to find it funny and to make fun of myself.)

It had been a rather dreary day and I had decided to take advantage of the quiet evening ahead to don my jammies early. I was padding around the house, thinking about supper, when a sudden and unexpected burst of energy appeared out of nowhere and I thought I should put it to good use and clear out the overloaded junk drawer in my living room.  This drawer is full of out-of-date appliance manuals, etc. Some of you may be able to identify with that.  Anyway --I began to sort and had a few piles going when I turned around and tripped over a footstool or maybe --- my own feet. Now get this – for at least twelve feet I did the “Oh no, don’t fall and break a hip dance”.  In spite of all my maneuvering, I ended up on the floor, slamming my left temple against a doorjamb on my way down. (I also broke a fingernail that I had been trying to save for several weeks and am currently sporting an impressive "shiner".)  

So anyway … there I was – lying on the floor, baffled but alert, and, as soon as I thought of it, I immediately checked my new knees to make sure they were still in place. I wondered how hard you have to hit your head to lose consciousness. Ouch!  I gradually realized that my head was actually dented and that it was beginning to swell at a most alarming rate.  All I could picture was Sloth on The Goonies. Remember that movie? Although experiencing a bit of blurry vision, a touch of nausea and a lot of terror, I, of course, had to get dressed in “real” clothes before I called the paramedics. I must confess that I struggled with trying to find an ambulance phone number before I had a “duh” moment and got a grip on the situation. I am a little stunned to realize that it took me a while to remember the whole “911 thing”. I am blaming that on the head injury. Must mention here that my daughter was appalled that I took time to get dressed and all that, but seriously – would you go to the hospital in a thermal shirt, baggy sweat pants and a frumpy bathrobe if you could help it?  Remember – I had fallen, but I did manage to get up. In a similar situation -- do women not shave their legs while in labor if there is time between contractions?  Seriously.  I think I did well to have the presence of thought not to drive myself to the hospital.  Give me some credit.

When recounting all of this to my daughter in the Emergency Room, she mentioned that it would have been quite something to have had a camera running at the time of the fall.  I think I said that such a video might  have been worthy of going viral on YouTube as the “Crazy Dancing Nana”.  She then said that I definitely should write about this experience in my blog.  (I told you before that my family has a tendency to laugh at each other when we fall.)

I am sure that the irony of this "inside fall" at the end of winter is not lost on you.  The lovely person who scanned my brain at CMH commiserated with me and said that, "...fear of falling takes on a whole new meaning after age 50".  She was so nice to me. Everyone was nice to me....so very nice.... Thanks again....  FYI ...it may take a few days for eyes to blacken after such a fall and they have a huge selection of "shades" at the local Rite Aid.  Must say that they are nice there too -- even when you look a bit like a gargoyle.  

Wonders of the World

I am so confused. When "looking up" the seven wonders of the world to make sure that I remembered them all, I couldn't even find the list that I knew  -- that I grew up knowing. I was positive that Niagara Falls was on that list and I could not find it anywhere. Actually there are several lists now - the Ancient wonders of the world, the Industrial wonders of the world, and the Man-made wonders are just three of them. Several countries, not to be outdone, have their own lists and I don't blame them. To be sure -- the world is full of wonders.  All this got me to thinking.  If a country can make up its own list, what's to stop a state or a city or a village... or me?   Nothing.

So naturally -- I am working on my own list, my own wonders ... and there will probably more than seven. If you think about it, I bet you have your own wonders too.  I want to tell you about two of mine.  They are not in any special order.

• My granddaughter plays the harmonica.  She is four.  When she plays, she closes her eyes and her little face becomes all dark eyelashes.  She plays softly -- the music - hauntingly beautiful.  From where does this come? When she finishes her "song", she opens her eyes and smiles. It's wondrous.  
• My grandson has a green belt in Karate.  He is eight. He is so serious about his Karate that I have to fight back tears when I watch him practice, his face so serious, his movements so deliberate --  a leggy, little boy yet to grow into his hands, his feet,... his ears. In his careful practice, you get a hint of the man he is to be.  It's wondrous.

The more I get into this, the more I recommend making such a list.  Maybe it is always the small moments that we need to remember in order to capture the bigger memories that develop into our own Personal wonders of the world. We do so need to remember.  It would be such a shame to lose all of this that becomes part of the wonder of our lives.            

Rewards...

It's interesting to listen to people talk about how they reward themselves for goals that they have accomplished, for jobs well done or -- for just surviving a tough day or a difficult situation.  Often the rewards are food and drink related like a glass of wine or snow-day brownies warm from the oven, or... vanilla cupcakes with chocolate buttercream frosting served with hot chocolate. Sometimes retail therapy is mentioned -- either hands-on shopping or online. Both seem to work. The day spa is also popular as are basic manicures and pedicures. Yet -- too often there is guilt involved in the reward process -- like we don't deserve a little treat now and then -- and this guilt comes up in the conversation as well. Seriously... this tendency for feeling bad when we didn't do anything wrong is not a good thing. Where is it coming from?

Why shouldn't people reward themselves a little bit for doing the hard job well or for putting one foot in front of the other on a particularly difficult day? I think there may be too much a tendency to be self-critical these days. I don't know where exactly to cast the blame and maybe if I did that would help.  For example -- I know that I am not alone in sometimes feeling guilty about what I am eating or not eating - so much so that some days I don't enjoy eating at all. Stupid.  I know people who worry often about if their family is suffering because they need to spend a little extra time at work...or because they took a little time for themselves to regroup.  Some have even told me that they sometimes suffer and worry because they couldn't provide a this or a that for their spouse or child(ren).  We are tough on ourselves for sure.  Where does this all come from?

Oh, how I wish I had an answer to that question. It's time to take stock.  We need to give ourselves a break at some point. This is a fast-paced world we live in. We need to find comfort in our own lives and our own families and friends -- in our community.  We need to acknowledge to ourselves that working hard and trying counts. We need to see the positive and to make at least a mental list of the things we are doing right. We need to relax a bit and enjoy this gift of life as we work our way through. Seriously -- we need to take pride in ourselves when we do well.

Does anyone out there hear me?  Agree?  If so, relax, take a bubble bath or a long walk... and maybe even have a slice of pizza (personally I prefer Augie's) or -- take a Sunday afternoon nap. You are worth it. The world will not fall into pieces. Trust me -- I know this from experience.