Roller Coaster

I have never been able to understand those people who raise their arms in the air and scream in delight when riding a roller coaster.  I actually avoid riding roller coasters, but if I did climb aboard, I would be belted in and hanging on for dear life.  I am a "seat-belted hanger-oner".  I don't like sudden turns and drops; I don't embrace the fear of the unexpected.  I don't think danger is fun. Confession : When my children were young, I lied to them -- telling them that I was unable to ride the scary rides because of an old neck injury.  They turned out very well in spite of this dishonesty.

I suppose that life is like many different carnival rides, but I think it is mostly like a roller coaster.  Life comes at you with a lot of sudden turns and drops in combination with all the fears generated by the unexpected and unknown.  I have to think that everyone experiences these changes in a lifetime.  I have known people who go through life loving these unexpected and the potentially dangerous changes. Some even seek wild adventures, but I have never understood them and have mostly kept my distance from them. I watch from the wings. I watched one such individual all throughout my childhood and into adulthood. He was like the brother I never had.  I watched him for his entire life -- from a distance, of course.  His joy in raising his arms on the downward runs of the coaster frightened me.  All such danger seekers/danger lovers frighten me.  I sometimes wonder why this is.  I wonder if it is a 'bad" thing. Then I figure that I am who I am, so get over it.  It really is okay to be a "seat-belted hanger oner". I am comfortable with it.

So anyway -- I will never drive a race car or climb to the highest peak, but I have learned the satisfaction of raising children who turned into wonderful adults and have enjoyed the pleasures and comfort of a warm home. I will never be famous or discover the cure for cancer, but I have known the special closeness of a sister, the strength of family and the comfort of unconditional love.  I will never fight a bull or parachute out of an airplane, but I have learned the patience of planting gardens, the joy of working with young people, and the deep peace of holding a sleeping grandchild.

Like yours, my roller coaster ride has had its share of sudden turns and drops. In reaction to this I have expended a great deal of energy simplifying my life -- perhaps too much so.  I sometimes wonder if the fear of hurt gets in the way of joy, but I am a happy person -- totally content with the ways things are.  It is what it is.  It is also, in some ways, what I have made it to be. There aren't many things in life that a person can control, but there are a few.

When I worked with young people, we spent some time discussing the ride of life - how one cannot always control or anticipate what comes, but can usually have a say in how to react.  We considered how no one ever fully lives the life he/she intended.   We talked about how the scary turns and drops have a way of challenging us and of evoking the fundamental core of who we are as human beings.  Sometimes the discovery is disappointing.  That, too, is just the way it is... a trip, a fall, an analysis, a start over... as we slowly climb the hill and begin again.   A goal perhaps may be to enjoy as much of the ride as possible - to make the best of of the hard and even of the scary things. Options are sometimes limited, but that's okay too - especially if you have no say in the matter. A sense of humor helps.