Mrs. McGillicuddy, et al...

 

Some names become representative of a type of person -- so much so that a name may come to conjure up a stereotypical image. This is not fair really and often it is inaccurate.  Nevertheless, I don’t know of anyone who would name a sweet baby girl Marie Antoinette, and it seems that the name Karen (a perfectly lovely name) is now experiencing a burst of unpopularity in some circles.

Nurse Ratched of One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest has come to refer to any woman who appears to be cold, heartless and ... scary.  Mrs. McGillicuddy of I Love Lucy comes to mind when thinking of Edith Bunker and the like – "… dimwitted, scatterbrained, but still loving…” and loveable.  Gladys Kravitz - of Bewitched is now any nosy neighbor.  Sort of fun really to think about. These examples are obviously linked to the Baby Boomer generation although some overlap occurs  -- some do span generation gaps. There are reruns after all....

Baby Boomers (born 1946-1964) will probably recognize them all.  Not sure what names would do the same for all the letter generations.  You know who I mean. Generation X (born 1965-1980, Generation Y (the Millennials we hear so much about these days (born 1981-1995), and Generation Z (born 1996-2010).  I mean Z – really?  Where does one go after being the last letter in an entire alphabet? (Generation Z is apparently also referred to as the New Silent Generation.  Again I repeat -- really?  Doesn’t seem fitting somehow.)  Who does this generation naming?  Anyway – back to my question of where does one go after the end of the alphabet?  It seems that you start with a different alphabet.  Those born 2011-2025 are now being called Generation Alpha.  Heavy….  So now you know.

I think it is interesting though that names also come to have meanings and associations of a personal nature. If your childhood and lifelong best friend’s name is Mary, I am thinking you will always associate good things with that name. Mine is and I do. The reverse is also true – in my experience.  For example, the name Stella has majorly negative connotations for me.  Stella was the name of my Great Grandfather’s second wife. Stella was the housekeeper and my great grandfather married her some years after the passing of his first wife. Stella was hateful toward and mean to my Mom, so I don’t like her. Never knew her. Doesn't matter. She died long before I was born.  Doesn’t make a difference.  I don’t like her.   I don't like the name Stella. It’s that simple. Perhaps a bit more info will clarify - my Mom was forced to leave her grandfather’s home at the age of 16, with just the clothes on her back, never to return again.  Why?   ... because she, in a moment of desperation, frustration, hurt and anger, etc., smashed a bowl of mashed potatoes into Stella’s face during Sunday dinner and then had the audacity to refuse to apologize.  It’s a long story really, but I always loved the spunk of it all. Stella deserved the mashed potatoes. Trust me on that. I should mention that my mom, prior to this, had lived her entire life with her grandfather.  Heartbreaking really when you think about it. I picture a sad young girl -- standing alone - outside the door.  No wonder my Mom was big on saying – pull yourself up by your boot straps and get on with it.   Yep, I will always think of the name Betty as spunky -- with all its positive connotations.   I so admire gumption. And speaking of the name Betty -- that wasn't my Mom's given name.  She found out when she left her grandfather's home that her real name was Clara... Her last name was different too... but... that is another story. Names are interesting -- on several levels.

 

 

Beware of Goblins...

 

Remember Chicken Little?  As I recall -- Chicken Little is strutting and pecking around the barnyard when an acorn falls and hits her on the head.  Quick to react, as chickens tend to be, she naturally assumes that the sky is falling and although she has no idea where to go, she runs off to find Lion, who, she is certain, will be able to save them all.  First, she runs into Henny Penny and then Ducky Lucky, and after frantic explanation on her part, they quickly join her in her quest – no questions asked. All three, trusting souls that they are, run blindly off together having no idea where they are going, and are, as such, most relieved to encounter Foxey Loxey along the way. Because he “knows” the way to Lion – or so he says – they trustingly follow him.  Now we all know that they come to a bad end.  The story concludes, “They all go in, but they never, never come out again.”  And so it goes – yet another terribly frightening children’s story -- like “Hansel and Gretel”, or “Little Red Riding Hood”. Then also -- there is the old James Whitcomb Riley poem “Little Orphant Annie”.  Ah… the ever-strong, repetitive line: “An’ the Gobble-uns ‘ll git you ef you Don’t Watch Out! (And … Yes … that is the way that Riley spelled those words. Somehow annoying, isn’t it?)  Anyway – scary stories for children -- cautionary tales all. Anything we could we learn from them? Hmmm…

The thing is ... all of this makes me think of how nice, well-intentioned people are taken advantage of in our current world by much of the print media, visual media and politicians – on every side of an issue.  There is no escape. Like Foxey Loxey, these villains know exactly what they are doing when they focus on the negative and lure people into dens “… from which they never, never come out again.” Journalists and politicians use fear as the grand motivator … fear sells more articles, increases the ever-desirable ratings and gets more votes. Pause and think for a minute of the times you have observed this. Plus, there is the added bonus (especially for politicians) that fearful people are easily controlled and lured into a kind of group think situation. But beware…  and as you may have observed lately and throughout your entire life … groups tend to make more extreme decisions than an individual would ever make. The mob mentality that leads to vandalism and to cities burning is just one such example. Scapegoating the unvaccinated is another.  Group think in the extreme is not a good thing -- ever. It may be because of the safety in numbers “thing”, but group think decisions tend to be not only more extreme, but also more illogical and irrational than those made by independent thinking of individuals. In group think people get swept away – caught up in things. They sometimes regret it later. Their fear, stoked by the Foxey Loxeys of the world, gets the best of them.  They ignore the mutability of Science ...  We all need to beware of Goblins of all sorts ….

The optimist side of me hangs onto the thread that perhaps there is hope that people will learn -- even if it is from a children’s story.  I mean – think of it – isn’t teaching one of the goals of a children’s story like these -- cautionary tales that they are? No one wants to be Chicken Little. No one wants a goblin to get them.  Hopefully it is a small number who want to be Foxey Loxey.  Right?

Shime vs Shame...

 

Sometimes I walk in the early morning in the parking lot of a local church – it’s flat and easy with the added bonus that if I fall down and break something, someone will eventually find me.  It is also a little boring except for the bunnies there.   So … I listen on my phone to Podcasts to ease the sameness of walking continuously in a large rectangle.  There are a lot of good ones on Podcast Player, but for some reason I prefer the ones I have checked out on Spotify.  When I need a break from the creepy ones on the supernatural, unsolved mysteries, real crime, deathbed confessions, psychics, conspiracy theories, etc. I turn to self- improvement ones on topics such as developing critical thinking skills, etc.   My favorite of these is The Jordan Harbinger Show. If the "audio only" doesn’t do it for you, you can actually watch the interviews on YouTube. 

Jordan Harbinger does interviews with a huge variety of really smart and interesting people and covers all sorts of topics – too numerous to get into here ... except to say that the ones with real life spies are super good.  Recently I listened to an old interview with BJ Fogg, a research associate and author.  He and Jordan were talking about making changes and creating healthy habits and one thing sort of screamed at me. I want to share it with you -- just in case you, like me, tend to beat yourself up – sort of a self-trash-talking thing – when you are trying to make a change in how you do something or to break a habit of some sort.  His take on things is to switch the channel, so to speak, and to approach the whole change/habit one tiny step at a time – all the while concentrating on what makes you feel good about the situation rather than focusing on the bad and the failures.  Sounds simple, doesn’t it?

The thing is, if I understand correctly,  that feeling good about what you are doing – like in the change that you are making – is a better motivator than guilt inducing self-criticism (#belittling yourself).  Even trying counts. In other words –stop the self-trash-talk.  In fact – he has research results indicating that feeling good about and celebrating (feeling good about) each small step of the change is more effective in developing new habits than repetition (as many of us were taught)  … and ... it is certainly more effective than criticizing oneself.  He also gives helpful hints on how a person goes about making these changes -- what tiny steps to actually take. He gives examples. Well worth a listen… especially if you are, right now, trying to make important changes or to break bad habits… or habits you have labeled as bad.

He labels the emotional results of this positive approach a “shine”.  I like to think of it as a “shime” as in the opposite of a “shame”. My “shime” is not to be confused with the town in Japan (Shime) or with the acronym for the Simulator of Human Intestinal Microbial Ecosystem (SHIME).  We need to be careful about words these days ... especially when one makes them up -- or thinks she does.  Anyway -- the whole idea of making positive changes one tiny step at a time and celebrating (being mindful of and feeling good about) each step works for me.  I am using that approach as I move through cleaning out five closets.  Three down; two to go. Honest. It’s working beautifully and I am making positive changes and breaking some iffy habits as far as saving old stuff/sometimes junk goes. Drawers are next.  Goal in the drawer scenario? To get down to just one drawer for odds and ends that I may need someday.  I like it.  I am "shiming" through the change and maybe breaking some "bad" habits as well. Or at least I am having fun trying. I think smiling (if possible) is always better than the alternatives.

My Body. My choice.

 

Happened to catch multiply reports on the Women’s March(es) 2021 on various “news” channels over the past few days.  Although the slant of the “reporting” varied somewhat, the placards and chants did not.

Of particular interest to me were the placards that read “Keep Your Laws Off My Body” and the loud chanting of “My Body, My Choice!”  They both refer to women’s right of choice in the abortion issue. Hmmm…

Methinks that the same could be said about mask and vaccine mandates. Now – in anticipating the argument that abortion and pandemic concerns are two separate and different issues… that masks and vaccines protect the world.  I say – what about protecting the unborn?

Yet--- I also say in regards to masks and vaccines… My Body, My choice. I would add -- Your Body. Your choice. It seems that not everyone respects the choices of others these days. Beyond sad really. It's not what I would expect in the United States of America.

Life is complicated and contradictory – especially in these times. Conflicts of all sorts abound.  I keep struggling to figure it out. Once again …  I am thinking that I am not alone in this. I am watching and listening.