Elsie and Bessie ... or... The more things change...

 

A long time ago now I was visiting my Grandma Bessie in the hospital and she asked me to read her a letter from her sister, Elsie.  No problem.  I began to read a long, detailed account of an outrageous set of circumstances, including a torrid love affair. I was absolutely stunned at the mere thought of my sweet, innocent and shy Great Aunt Elsie and of my most often a bit ornery, but nevertheless loveable Grandma Bessie even knowing about such things, let alone writing of such goings in such graphic and lurid detail.  I stopped reading which – disappointed Bessie tremendously. (Trust me -- you never wanted to disappoint her.)  Nevertheless -- “Who are these people and how do you know them?”, I asked. I was wondering if they were people from her small, lovely church – which was about the only place either of them went those days.  “Oh”, she said, “that’s what is going on in our “programs”.  That is what she and Elsie called the soap operas that they watched faithfully every day now that they had televisions.  I was much relieved.  I mean –Elsie was so shy and timid that she went to bed fully dressed, and Bessie was a grandma who thought wearing lipstick was evil – let alone dancing.  No granddaughter of hers would do either.  I must admit that some of us sort of let her believe that none of us would.  Harmless, right? Anyway – this steamy recounting still “boggles my mind”.  (When was the last time you heard that expression?) As it turns out -- obviously -- Elsie was just being a good sister and keeping Bessie up-to-date with all the goings on in their beloved "programs". 

Why am I writing about this, you may wonder?  Well… my cousin (the one with whom I am writing the account of the damncovid) and I are currently reading a series of novels written by Louise Penny.  It is marvelous – involves a fine Canadian detective who solves mysteries -- most of which take place in a small village in Canada called Three Pines.  There are no steamy parts - but the characters and the writing are multi-leveled. Phenomenal. Obviously, Louise Penny knows that people are able to read between the lines and infer.  It's refreshing.  Anyway -- each book is better than the last. We both just finished the sixth book in the series a few days ago, and we are thankful that there are 10 more to go.  We often mention elements of the books in our daily communication.  In that – we are much like Elsie and Bessie.  Who would have thought that would ever have happened?  I mean these were two old gals who had, in their lifetimes, moved from horse and buggy to moon landing, and they never had the opportunities that my cousin and I have had. I mean -- they grew up without central heating or electric stoves, let alone fast food, handy grocery stores or ... personal care products. My grandma had a pump for water in her root cellar -- just a few steps down from her kitchen.  We all drank the cool water from the same ladle and didn't think a thing about it.  They grew and canned everything - including meat. Their worlds were smaller and simpler somehow.... At the same time, their lives were much more difficult. But -- they did find time to write.

The difference between a letter and an email is not that great really.  Email is easier, much faster and costs less… and... there is the spell check advantage.  Other than that, communication by words seems to be a familial tradition – to share the details of life and...  stories.  The only difference I can see is that the ones we are sharing today are much less steamy.  What can I say?  There was a lot we didn’t know about Elsie and Bessie, I guess.  Miss them and their sister, Grace.  Not sure if Grace was in on the whole soap opera adventure or not.  I am thinking probably not, but who knows?

Perhaps it is a case of “... the more things change, the more they stay the same….” I sort of like thinking that we have something in common with past generations in spite of living in different worlds with different types of problems and challenges.  You know what though -- now that I think of it -- they went through a pandemic too.  And ... they survived a great many challenges of their times. Hope we do as well as they did. 

Wish list in progress...

 

So… I have been thinking/wondering lately about what people really want these days. You know – what they really want deep down inside.  For the moment set aside the dangerous territory of politics – and that includes the extremists on the edges as well as the power hungry with all their scary antics. Also shelve the problems caused by the damncovid and other “stuff” that bogs you down.  Finally...  put away those worries about things you cannot change. Easier said than done, I know, but… just for now… think about basic concerns that all people may have in common. What do they wish for, hope for, want?  All people. All human beings. We are in this together after all. 

I know that I may need to amend this later on, but for now – this is what I have come up with (not in any special order).

   People want...

to know that they are safe.

to be free to live in peace.

to be able to think what they think without fear.

to be able to say what they want to say.

to share laughter.

to be able to stand on their own two feet.

to be allowed to live in ways of their own choosing.   

to be needed and loved.

to have a connection with others who share this journey.

to know that somewhere, somehow, they have made a difference.

I know that I am most likely leaving out important things.  I am hoping that you can add to the list. 

It’s a wish list in progress…  Sometimes wishes do come true.  Sometimes....

 

What time is it?

So… we sprung forward this week….  That is a sure sign that time is passing. Nice to know.  Also nice really is that electronic devices are so self-sufficient.  That only leaves me with seven clocks to change by hand and that includes the clock in my Jeep and one wrist watch that I never wear.  Must mention that I have a couple of other watches in the drawer as well – all with dead batteries.  They are remnants of the years that I actually went to work every day and therefore needed to know what time it was. They are proof that at one time, I cared what time it was. I am surprised, actually, that I have so many clocks to set by hand.  I never really thought of myself as obsessed with time.

I guess the point I am getting to is that now – in addition to the damncovid induced day confusion, there is time confusion.  I will now go through a period of moving through the day telling myself that I know it is such and such a time, but really it is an hour ago. (Wait… is that right or…?)  I think of it as old time and new time.  I go through this twice a year. Thank goodness for the “Spring ahead; Fall back” thing or I would never know which way to move.  Anyone out there who is able to relate to this?  

Now as soon as Mr. and Mrs. Goose return to my neighbors’ pond for their yearly rest stop on their way north, I will start to believe that Spring and Summer are going to come this year after all.

Bigfoot... or?

So...  recently after a morning of binge watching a Bigfoot "hunter" trudge, huffing and puffing his way through hilly and thickly forested terrain while filming himself, I decided yet again that too much television is not a good thing. (Neither is taking the selfie trend to extremes.) Anyway -- this latest episode ranks right up there with my Netflix binging of a psychological series filmed in Belgium (with English dubbed in). Have you ever subjected yourself to watching hour upon hour of actors' lips moving in a foreign language and hearing English emerge? It is almost, but not quite, as awful as subtitles. Pitiful. Insanity....  This is what "it" has come to.  

All of this, of course, is the result of having gone on a self-imposed but temporary news blackout -- yet again.  I find that taking a break from the current "commentary" from all so-called "news" channels does wonders for my blood pressure.  Actually, I don't really know that it does anything at all, but I can't feel my pulse in my ears when on a "news" blackout ... so for me... it is lovely and feels very healthy. I just should not substitute with other TV shows like the ones described above.  

I think I just need to get outside more and breath.  It has been a long winter.  My son shared someone's Facebook post with me during the first week of March. It read: "So we just let March come back after the way it acted last year?"  How perfect is that?  I love the surprising bursts of humor that suddenly appear to brighten the day. I also found it amusing to use my leaf blower to clean off my back porch the other day -- so fun to send dry leaves flying across a snow/ice covered patio.  See what I mean about needing a sense of humor?  See what I mean about needing to get outside more and breath?

So -- let me know if anything else gets banned/cancelled, okay?  I do like to stay on top of things -- sometimes -- maybe even most of the time. Other times -- not so much. Sometimes a short break is in order. Sometimes a breath of fresh air is essential. No matter what -- I plan to open windows this week at least for a little bit. It's been a long winter.  It's been a long year. We all know that....

Sticks and Stones...

 

Please bear with me....  I wrote a couple of weeks ago about aspects of language not to be ignored.  Since then, a few more examples have become popular, and I want to mention them.  There is power in word choice.  There is potential danger in that power. Remember that old adage: "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me"?  We all know that that is not true.  Words do hurt. Perhaps more realistic is: "Stones and sticks break only skin, while words are ghosts that haunt me." Personally, I would capitalize the H in haunt.

Consider the difference between your mental and emotional responses to the following...  "kids in cages" vs "unaccompanied minors in soft-sided structures", or “crisis” vs “challenge”.  Also, noticeably popular in past weeks -- "illegal aliens" vs "noncitizens" or “crybaby” vs “crybully”.  I am thinking that you definitely see and feel the differences. Why is this important? It is important because... word choices make a difference. Words may be and are used to manipulate thinking. One more serious example that piques curiosity ... why is something called a "Covid Relief Bill" when only 9% or so of the “relief” actually goes toward the “damncovid” situation?  It's a thought-provoking example of word choice as a smoke screen; isn't it?

Remember everyone -- we are not "lemmings to the sea".  (By the way -- that is a myth.  Lemmings are not stupid. These little hamster-like creatures do not rush together and hurl themselves off cliffs in waves of furriness.)  Neither, by the way, are we "unable to see the forest for the trees" as some seem to enjoy believing as they look down and smirk from where they perch above. 

Sometimes I think we get so caught up in trying to adapt and survive that we let things slide or don't pay close enough attention. Plus the fact – most of us are exhausted on some level from living during a pandemic in combination with political upheaval. Now is not the time to let things slide though.  Actually, there is never a time to do that. Keep your eye on Amazon and its new "silent but deadly" book banning. It smells bad to me. 

This mentality is seemingly spreading everywhere.  Just think about Mr. Potato Head and Dr. Seuss if you think I am overreacting.  Play-Doh could be the next target. 

No matter on what side of an issue you are -- no matter to whom you listen or what you believe, it is wise to listen carefully and to "see" the power of language.  Cherish your freedom of speech and that of others. Cherish your independence of thought and uniqueness as an individual. Respect that independence and uniqueness in others. Be word wise.

A closed and small-minded "cancel culture" of any sort is evil. Stand strong. Be mindful. Listen to others. Think. See. Push back. We are all in this together, even though, at times, it may not seem like it. Never forget ... your individual thoughts matter… and so do those of others with whom you may not always agree. Exchange ideas. Talk with others.

You know all of this, I know, but… I just had to write about it.  You are important; so am I. Everyone is. The ideas of an individual are important… so is the voice of each individual. Don’t let these freedoms be taken away from you.

"The smallest minority on earth is the individual.  Those who deny individual rights cannot claim to be defenders of minorities." (Rand)

Enough now....  

You would have to hog tie me and put me in a wheelbarrow....

Sometimes I think the only thing I know for sure is that I am not going to reserve a cabin on a cruise ship - ever.  You would have to hog tie me, put me in a wheelbarrow and push me screaming all the way up the ramp.  It is a been there; done that situation.  Just not my cup of tea. I will spare you the details – like descriptions of seas so rough that my sister and I were belted into our bunk beds with bands that looked like wide seat belts.  (That cruise was over 60 years ago. I have a long memory.... But I digress….)

After almost a year now of staying at home, following what are basically repetitions of only slightly modified routines, I have come to the point that I find it necessary to organize my "nutritional supplements" in one of those dispensers that have little compartments for each day of the week -- so I know if I took them or not.  I keep a wooden calendar on my kitchen counter so that I know what day of the week it is – unless I forget to slide it to the next day before I go to bed the night before. (Thank goodness I can find this information on the lock screen of my phone or in the lower right-hand side of my computer monitor.)

I clean something in my house every day.  Sometimes I get on a roll and clean a bunch of things that I would have totally ignored for years on end before the damncovid. I make To Do lists and then thoroughly enjoy checking items off.

My laundry is always caught up.  I have taught myself how to steam my denim shirts rather than iron them. (It takes longer to steam.) The mending is caught up. I have the time to do all sorts of stuff. I crocheted one and knitted two afghans in the month of December.  I cannot even begin to guess how many books I have read or how many puzzles I have done on my iPad. Currently I am working on a counted cross stitch project that is roughly the size of Kansas.  The amount of my television watching is shameful. However, I must confess that I have not cleaned out closets.  Every closet in this house is too full of stuff.  I am waiting for a particularly desperate day to do closets. I almost reached that point last week. Almost....

I try new recipes, enjoy cooking for family dinners and write to people with whom I have not communicated in years -- or ever. (I exchanged notes recently with a very nice person who owns a small book store in Oregon.)  I have cleaned my silverware drawer and gently scraped hairspray off a mirror with a razor blade.  I sometimes scan my home for cobwebs.  I think the spiders are in hibernation at the moment. Dust still appears though -- somehow. I figure it is a sign of life. In contrast -- I sit too much.

I write for a couple of hours every day (sometimes more than that) -- part of that time is on a documentation of life in my part of rural America during the damncovid. I am writing this with one of my cousins. She also lives in rural America, but she has a lake. Anyway -- we communicate by email and are now up to about four pages per day x 30 days/month – now starting the twelfth month. You do the math.  Guess we will have to cut a bit before we store it away someplace for future generations to discover. I know from talking with her that she, too, has closet issues. It's not a bad thing really.

Then to finish my list... (and then I can check it off my To Do for the day...)

Going to the store for groceries has become an outing and...  I almost enjoy it, although I am thinking more and more of shopping online and just driving through to pick up.  Those of you who have been reading my blog know that I am not a fan of, nor have I mastered the wearing of the mask and breathing at the same time. (Dr. Fauci is not one of my faves these days ....) So…

How are all of you doing?  It's the small things that become the big things sometimes. Right?  Does anyone else wish that they could do more to be useful in these nutty times? I am thinking that is a big YES.  It’s a helpless feeling at this stage of the game. Come to think of it -- that is another thing that I do know for sure. The damncovid has made everything underlined and harder. 

   

An abundance of caution and glass doorknobs....

There have always been things that I have found annoying, but of late I seem to be focusing on language -- words and phrases that make me want to slap something. I am thinking that you know that feeling. This happens to me a lot when words or phrases are misused or overused.

Take the word "transparent" for example. Until recently, the word transparent described something one could see through clearly to the other side - like a window or Saran Wrap.  Saying that one is transparent now implies that what they are saying is above board...honest. I don’t “buy” this.  It seems to me that "transparent" is enjoying this popularity even though it is often used inappropriately or inaccurately to describe things as above board or honest that are not at all above board or honest at all. Saying that one is being transparent does not make it so. That just doesn’t work for me. Semantics does matter. A "home" is different from a "house" although they could be defined the same. Honesty and transparency are not the same --- in spite of what an urban dictionary may imply. Those dictionaries, by the way, also state that "woke" is an adjective (seriously?) and more importantly they define it in multiple and contradictory ways. I would make sure that you know what it means in all these definitions before you use it on a regular basis. Language can get one into trouble these days.

Moving on to groups of words… the phrase at the top of my slap list today is ... "out of an abundance of caution." It is used, frequently, in reference to restrictions and unpopular controls put on an already suffering population -- that is you and me and every other person in the country and at times -- maybe the entire world. This is a phrase often employed by those who are, in many cases, enjoying their temporary positions of authority a bit too much.  I am thinking that you know exactly what I mean. Anyone else waiting for Karma or hoping that there is such a thing? Saying that something is done out of an abundance of caution is supposed to make it okay… and sometimes it is.  At other times – not so much.  

So – anyway and in contrast -- I think it is most important to find fun language examples to balance things out.  You know things that make you laugh out loud and forget about the bad stuff.  Now the dialog in reruns of The Big Bang Theory almost always makes me laugh out loud.  But -- the tall trophy of the day goes to the person who was responding to a Facebook comment that I happened upon while browsing. I forget exactly what he was talking about now, but he used the phrase "... slicker than snot on a glass doorknob".  Didn't expect that, did you? I didn't either when I first read it. Hope it made you laugh too… or at least smile….  We need that these days -- for sure. 

The daily challenge is... can anyone use the words and phrases mentioned above in the same sentence?  Perhaps keep in mind that both glass doorknobs and snot could be considered to be at least somewhat transparent?  Further -- we are all aware of how important it is these days to approach anything we touch with an abundance of caution.  So ... there is that to consider as well.