Here's one troublesome and complicated issue that I think about sometimes. It is so important to me that I even hesitate a bit to write about it. It's a conundrum, and the thing is -- I want to get it right, be clear and... at the same time... tread lightly.
Not alone in this, I know, but I am bothered that there isn't always quite enough time/energy in a day, and the ways I may spend my time/energy sometimes conflict. But... how I choose to live those moments is like tennis... I want to play with those from whom I can learn the good methods of play, so that I can play better. I am most fortunate to have found many such individuals throughout my lifetime. I cherish all of them -- past and present.
Unfortunately, I have also found that, at times, I encounter others who act as if they know for certain that other people are somehow responsible for their happiness. I am talking about adults who do not acknowledge that they are responsible for themselves. Things always happen to them -- they are the victims of the world. I am thinking that you have encountered such individuals as well. They fail to "see" that the world does not revolve around them and their issues. They try to control and to manipulate - perhaps most often without even a sense of that being what they are doing. At the core these are "good" people, but... they impose. They burden. Trust me ... No matter how much time others devote to listening and to offering advice if they are asked, no one can fix another's life. Interaction with such individuals is beyond exhausting. There comes a point, if you are lucky, that you have a revelation of sorts. It's this simple -- you are only responsible for your own happiness. The burden is lifted if you know this. Breathe.... It's is difficult enough to recognize that you are responsible for the energy that you yourself bring into a room -- always.
It is so hard, though.. there is, sometimes, a heavy amount of guilt that comes with taking your own life back - even though, in your core, you know that you are doing the right thing. Coming to know that ultimately you are responsible only for yourself is often a lesson that is learned the hard way. Off and on, I have had a hard time with it for sure. Like some of you, I bet -- there have been several times in my life when I thought/knew that I could help -- that I could fix whatever it was. I was wrong. I couldn't help. I couldn't fix. What I learned is that it was only right that I should take my own life seriously. Ultimately, I am responsible only for my own happiness and how I spend what energy I have each day. Here's the thing -- I want to utilize both time and energy well. I have a certain responsibility to myself to do this.
Somehow all this sounds somehow harsh, doesn't it? It is especially hard for those of us who have been raised to "fix it". Yet -- for people of my age, the expression "Life is short" takes on a whole new meaning. If you are not there yet, my hope is that you find your own happiness. You can't "fix it" for everyone ... no matter how much you wish that you could. Surround yourself with those who are playing the game on their own happiness and energy terms. How you live is like tennis or any game that you wish to play well .... choose those you play with very carefully. In finding good players, I am/have been blessed for sure. I am thankful.
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