So I can breathe...

 

In my home I have a small office that I often refer to as The Book Room.  3 of 4 walls are, at least in part, composed of overloaded book shelves. I became annoyed a few months back that the books are two-book deep on many of the shelves and it is hard to find what I am looking for. So… I called upon a local wood working genius to build additional shelves  -- small ones that wrap around three sides of my living room couch. The shelves are the same height as the couch so the two of them on either side can double as side tables. They match the dark woodwork of my home. They are outstanding.  I love them and my granddaughter tells me that sitting on that couch is now extra cozy.  Good enough for me.  Anyway – in sorting through books in order to rearrange them, I have discovered that - naturally over time - several books moved to the bottom of the must read pile, and I now have no idea why I bought them. Obviously I need to move them from the unread category to that of the read.  It’s what I do. "So many books; so little time."

Anyway -- my next soon to be read is a book about a woman’s journey through life in the early 1900’s and her ability to understand her place in her world. Of course reading that on the book jacket got me to thinking (for a few moments) about what I personally understand about myself and my life’s journey. 

The following brief comments are the result of that "scattered thought process”. I also think that I am not alone in this kind of "thing". Am I correct in this?  Here goes...

In a world that at times seems upside down to me, I am the kind of person who:

• has a brand new coffee maker in the basement - still in the unopened original box.  I think of it as the "stand by" coffee maker – waiting in the wings – essential and ready to go. I like knowing that it is there.
• makes notes in books even though I know I will most likely never go back to them.
• keeps all necessary ingredients for homemade Monkey Bread on hand -- always. You know ... in case of emergency hankerings. (Thanks again, PB, for the recipe!)
• if I sleep-in past 5 AM, feels like I am moving through the day with my shoes on the wrong feet.
• has wondered at times if Santa is ever overwhelmed by the flood of greedy letters.

Then on the more serious side... I am the kind of person who:

• wonders sometimes if raving environmentalists know that they “come off” as fascists and then wonders if they care.
• knows that all fears need to be handled carefully.
• when holding things inside wonders if it is obvious from the outside that inside my head I am screaming.
• thinks that it is never “Good-bye; it is always “See you later”.
• is amazed that life can be both simple and complex within the same moment. 
• carries a small notebook around with her most of the time -- just in case I need to write down some idea that I don't want to forget.     

And finally…. I am the kind of person who knows that writing may not solve anything, but it helps me breathe in this world that at times seems upside down to me.