The Birthday Cake

I am not quite sure where to start on this one…. I guess the beginning is always a good place – at least for some background information and to explain how it all started before moving on to the basic facts.  Didn’t we learn in school, or somewhere, that a good story always answers a few questions -- the Who, What, When, Where, Why and How of it all?  Ah – it’s the good olde Five Ws and one H.  Sometimes, though, the answers to life questions are a little more complicated than that.

It all started about two weeks ago now when my son, Jess, was planning a small birthday party in celebration of a special birthday for his wife, Carolyn. He had invited nearby family and a few close friends, found a convenient place to gather, ordered a cake, etc.  It all seemed to be coming together smoothly and calmly. You know – a normal special birthday.  That changed quickly when Jess and Carolyn stopped at their local Kroger in Plainfield, Indiana to pick up the birthday cake that he had ordered for the celebration.

On the top of the box was a note explaining that a woman, a total stranger, who signed the note, "Toni, Tyler’s Mom", had already paid for their cake.  She explained that the gift of the Birthday Cake was a gesture in memory of her son, Tyler, who would have been 35 this May. Tyler had just finished his final year of training with the Franciscan Health Family Medicine Residency Program and was soon to join a medical practice when he died unexpectedly five years ago. Apparently, every year this loving mom and his family celebrate his life with some type of random act of kindness. This year it was the gift of a cake. Her personal message ended with: “Please enjoy, make special memories, and hug your children and loved ones tight.”  (pause for time to grab Kleenex…)  This kind gesture and message did not go unnoticed by my daughter-in-law or by my son. Admittedly they cried together... both deeply touched by this whole thing … as am I … as is everyone I have told about it.  Actually, this gesture and message and Carolyn’s Thank You were noticed by a lot of people … and now you are reading about it as well.

This is what happened next. Jess posted the story on his Facebook page to immediate and positive response. Carolyn posted a heartfelt Thank You message, along with a photo of the anonymous note, on a local chat page on Facebook hoping that this woman, Toni,  might somehow see it and realize how much this message and kindness were appreciated. I think the page is called the “Town of Plainfield Chatter”.  Anyway -- that’s when things started to get crazy.  Within a very short time, Carolyn's Facebook post had received over 1800 “Likes”, been shared over 50 times and received hundreds of positive comments.  Recognizing who had written the note, a friend called Tyler’s Mom and thus she was able to read all the wonderful and supportive comments generated by her kindness. All of this turned out to be another kind of gift – one offered back to her and her family by many – mostly total strangers.  But – this is not the end of the story.  And this is how I know so many details about this lovely woman, her son, Tyler, and her family...

The whole exchange began to take on a life of its own.  The story was picked up by three TV Stations in nearby Indianapolis as well as by at least two radio stations.  Tyler’s Mom, located somehow, was interviewed on WTHR TV where the whole “thing” was the trending story of the day on the 18^th.  Carolyn provided the background story and photos of the cake, notes, etc. The segment was actually several minutes long. I was able to watch it through a link to the live broadcast that Jess texted to me.  Sometimes technology is quite nice. Other stations posted stories about the whole “happening” on their Facebook pages as well – expanding the coverage. # Mom paying for a stranger’s birthday cake goes viral.

As Carolyn wrote in her Thank You note -- how wonderful to be reminded of what really matters in these crazy times. It isn’t about the cake at all really.  It is about kindness and about the importance of people significant in all of our lives.  It is about the seemingly “small” things that really matter in big ways.  I guess another thing is that it reminds us that most human-interest stories go way beyond the answers to the basic questions – the Five Ws and one H.  This story is no different. These stories are ways in which we can connect with others.  We can focus easily on what we have in common rather than on what may divide us. We realize anew that what are sometimes thought of as the small things are, in fact, the big things. We are reminded of the important things in LIFE.

This is not the end of this story either. Carolyn lost her Mom a short time ago.  It has been a most difficult time for her and her family.  The thing is that her Mom's birthday is coming up on June 15^th.  I wonder who will get the free birthday cake that she plans to purchase anonymously in memory of her Mom?  Whoever it is, I just know that the gesture and whatever message she includes will be appreciated. 

It is easy to get caught up in all the challenges of our lives today – especially as we begin to emerge from over a year of fears, isolation and varying hardships. How lovely to be reminded of the kindness in this world and to step out of the rat race and back into the world of what really matters.   …and just one more thing…  my Mom used to say to me and I have said to my children and grandchildren…. “Be kind to others – always.  You never know what they may have been through right before your world overlaps with theirs if only for a moment. You can make a difference."

It all started with a Birthday cake with short note attached to it, followed by a heart-felt thank you note posted in a chat room. It was a simple thing really – an exchange between two people – total strangers. Countless lives have been touched … including mine and now yours. Feel free to share. 

Happy Birthday in Heaven, Tyler.  Happy Birthday, wonderful Carolyn.

                (This was to have been the end of this story… but…)

Update... Carolyn has been contacted by Nexstar Media Group, Inc. which is the largest owner of local TV Stations across the country including affiliates of the larger national networks.  Not sure what all that will come to.  But, listen to this --- a Producer of the Kroger National TV Network requested an interview.  This is a company that makes videos and commercials for Kroger nationwide.  The interview was scheduled at the local Plainfield Kroger. Carolyn actually met Tyler's Mom, Toni, in person for the first time as they were interviewed together. This is an amazing experience for everyone involved... and it continues....  

Further Update: Add People magazine.  See People.com for Article entitled: “Woman Pays for Strangers Cake at Indiana Grocery Store in Honor of Son’s 35^th Birthday”.  

And then there are the Apple News, The Washington Post, and the CBS and FOX News Networks that have all made contact with Carolyn ... and ... the Canadian journalist, Managing Editor of Goodable.org who asked her permission to share her story on their Twitter account.  And so it goes…. The world is hungry to share the good in people.  Indeed....