Never been a fan of change....

 

I have never been a fan of change.  Seriously -- I had to be dragged kicking and screaming into the world of direct distance dialing, cable TV, microwaves and VHS, let alone all the other things that seemed to come into being within seconds of one another.  Purchasing a PC almost put me into a state of mindless blithering. The Internet was a concept I simply could not grasp because no one could tell me where it was or what it looked like. (I still try to picture it.) Then there were the cell phone, WIFI and the repeated conversations with my children on whether or not I would text.  I didn’t see the value or potential in any of those things – at the time.  Now, of course, I can’t live without them and more new-fangled things as well. I have a self-starting generator that is able to and has run everything in my entire house. I store photographs on a cloud somewhere out there in the land of things I cannot put in a box. There is progress and … it is a very good thing I can laugh at myself.

On a more serious note --the past year and a half have been difficult for me even though my day-to-day life has not changed that drastically.  I am thinking that I am not alone in this.  In fact, I have had conversations with others important in my life about the feeling of being a bit off balance -- maybe, ironically, especially so now that the world is beginning to open up again in baby steps and all people begin to reenter a world that has forever been changed.  Always a homebody, I now am a bit agoraphobic. Not kidding.  I like to be home. Never a fan of driving anywhere, I have to make myself go places – always having a good time once I am there, but always ready to come home. It is comforting to listen to other people talk about similar experiences and about how interpersonal relationships with others – even family and friends -- have taken on new dimensions. We have a lot of adjusting to do for sure. I am writing this in case you are feeling alone in having such feelings.  You are not alone.

In 2001, America was stunned by 9-11 – an outright attack on our country. It changed things for all Americans in too many ways to name. Whether or not this pandemic will turn out to be an outright attack on the entire world or a devastating accident – I do not know. All I know is that it has brought change across the entire planet. With that change comes uncertainty and all the scary thoughts and questions that come with that.

At the same time, it is important to remember, though, that not all changes are so all encompassing – even though we share similar experiences with others.  We just don’t all go through these changes at the same time.  These more private changes are, perhaps, the most difficult to maneuver.  At times, and this has happened to each of us, something happens – in one moment perhaps – and Nothing is as it was before.  Nothing. Everything is changed -- forever. Suddenly you find yourself in a different world, and yet the rest of the world moves on as if nothing has happened. It’s surreal.  It is doubly hard when people have this kind of change in the middle of a pandemic.  I think this is why the world craves the feel-good story – the tale of a random act of kindness. I know that I am trying to hang on to those. I am grateful for them. Am thinking that you are too. Thank you for your positive response to last week’s Blog – "The Birthday Cake". Your kind words are a gift. You are a gift. That is one thing that will never change.