End of the tunnel ...

Just finished editing the account of the Covid 19 pandemic, aka Damncovid, that my friend/cousin and I wrote during the times -- from 2020 through 2023. Phew... it was a job... interesting. Many of you may recall reading in this blog some time ago that we began this "project" to record the stories of two rural Nanas and their families during the pandemic.  As it stands now, the audience will be limited to current family and to generations on down the line.  It is a universal story, yet personal as well.

Anyway -- we wrote daily, communicating via email.  I wrote in the mornings, she in the evenings -- each sharing the events of our lives and feelings, including some fears and confusion as we worked our way through the challenges of living in and through a pandemic.  Needless to say our experiences may differ from yours, but I am thinking that they share common issues as well.  We both agree that the writing helped us get through those times the way hoped we would. We had positive goals. We helped each other. We consider ourselves and our families to be very fortunate. We are thankful.

Although the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services declared the COVID-19 Pandemic officially over as of May 11, 2023 , many of us in rural America felt the end much earlier and transitioned away from emergency procedures well before for that time.  In fact… many of us were able to live relatively normal lives during the three years preceding the official end. Some of us did not play the game at all or played only when it was deemed unavoidable or in respect of other people's fears. I think, in some ways, that rural America felt sorry for city dwellers ... even the ones who look down on us  -- thinking that their way of life is somehow better. Ironic, isn't it?

Also important to remember is that all lives across the entire world  were touched in some way by the pandemic.  Many were touched in a close, painfully personal way with loss of loved ones and friends. Other lives were forever changed by the fears of the pandemic – many of which were exaggerated by those in leadership as they struggled to control an independent thinking populace. The pandemic had a vast array of side-effects including separating friendships and dividing families. The distrust of authority, medicine, and government bubbled above the surface and continues to seep and spread. Tragic on so many levels. Such sad side-effects are a part of a pandemic story for sure even though they are, perhaps, overlooked to some degree. For example, there is a tendency for some not to remember that they wanted to put the non-vaxed (of which I am one) into concentration camps and that they basically treated/shunned them like they had serious cooties and were responsible for the ills of the whole world. 

Anyway -- Our chronical of those times runs from March 13, 2020 to mid 2022.  It is long; it is a reminder; it is a story of coming out at the other end of the tunnel, perhaps a bit bumped and bruised, but nevertheless stronger, and hopefully more compassionate, kinder people... thankful to be survivors.  

We are playing with titles. They are...  View from Two Porches and the more sarcastic Two Weeks to Slow the Spread. The second title suggested by my son.  Having a hard time deciding.  Ideas?

One note...  it is amazing how much time softens.  Many struggles even get pushed way back into dark, hide to find, corners.  Perhaps, though, it is good to remember all the parts.  Perhaps remembering helps to explain the current insanity of the world... people reacting to being forced into isolation or to being pressured to take an experimental drug inaccurately labeled a vaccine... a decision that more and more people now seriously regret. Many current, demonstrators are caught up in rebellion for the sake of rebellion. Ignorant as they are,  they now feel empowered to force their opinions on others - and also believe that they have the right to interfere and complicate the day to day lives of others. Is this because they saw the government get away with such behavior? Wish I knew how to make things better. Perhaps writing and documenting will help in the long run.  Hope so. 

One thing I do know -- I hope none of us ever have to go through a pandemic again. Another thing I know... I am sick and tired of angry screamers and hateful faces. I am also bored with the lack of sense of humor and humanity of those particular woke who think they have some "special" kind of awareness that gives them rights above others ... that somehow entitles them to condescend to those who may disagree with them on the issues of the day. 

It is time to move forward and put the tunnel behind. We need to see that there is light at the other end.  We need to begin again and to remember who we are and who we want to be. We need to listen and to think. 

After effects...

 

A question for you. Do we all have concerns that we have placed on a mental shelf… somewhere safe where the concerns sit on the edge of consciousness swinging their feet just waiting to jump back into the light?  I think we do.  We put these concerns there thinking that we will think about them later… and we do… maybe just not when we want to think about them though. They leap down off the shelf at inopportune times.

Second question for you.  Remember when we thought that our parents or “experts” in general had it all figured out – concerns were sorted into their proper places?  We thought all questions had answers, that all problems had solutions.  We thought these older folks and experts for sure knew what they were doing. They had the answers and the solutions. We could count on them. They certainly acted like they knew things.  Well… “Not all the actors are in Hollywood.”  Everyone knows that. Now that we have become the older generation, we know the truth.  Scary, isn’t it?  I call this dilemma the “After Effects of Experience”.  That is kinder somehow than saying that sometimes old(er) people have learned some things along the way. Listen to them – even though they may not have a clue in a particular situation.  Unlike loving parents though, experts should never pretend that they know things that they really have no way of knowing. It’s misleading. Better to be above board and admit the truth.  Everything, in some ways, is an experiment – it is always survival of the fittest – like the plants I put in my garden – like the Science of recent days.

Now that the damncovid appears to be winding down (at least for now) and political upheaval has become a series of hums with just an occasional annoying off-key blat from trombones, maybe it is time to take a few things off that mental shelf. Maybe it is time to examine some of those After Effects of living through a pandemic. With that in mind, here are some After Effect questions I have heard and asked recently:

How long will we continue to hold our breath when someone hugs us?

How long will we avoid cramped spaces?

How long will we mentally look for a disinfectant wipe when someone shakes our hand? (This is what I call the Monk effect.)

How long will we think that maybe we should just stay home?

How long will it be before we learn the truth – the real truth - about this pandemic and… will we know it to be true when we hear it?

It’s funny, but it’s not. And it goes further.  I have talked to more than one person in recent days (several actually) who have decided to willingly agree to be a guinea pig – to receive a shot of one of the experimental drugs not as yet thoroughly tested or approved by the FDA - drugs that are touted as vaccines. It is in the back of their minds – perhaps on one of those shelves - that they are participating in a grand experiment – perhaps out of fear, but definitely with the hope that they are helping to end the spread of a deadly virus. They have willingly made a grand gesture. Yet – in the back of their minds is always the question of another whole kind of After Effect – the as yet to be discovered -- the ominous -- Side Effect(s).  There is an aura of uncertainty surrounding the whole process. For those participating, it’s a done deal – they now just wait to see what happens. The silent concern is the question of what that might be.  Perhaps this is why there is such a pressure to make every one in sight take the same risks. The push is on. It is comfort in numbers. Ohio even offers the incentive of a lottery.  It is fascinating to watch the incentives roll out… pressure upon pressure.

The entire world has shared this pandemic. We have been in this together for sure. No one likes to feel alone.  I understand that. There is, however the danger that this desire for everyone to join the team could evolve into a groupthink situation in which the desire for conformity results in the irrational. It makes me think of the double-masked individual wearing a laminated vaccine card hung around his/her neck or dividing seating areas into vaccinated or nonvaccinated. This “push” has a certain ugliness potential – its own unique After Effect. I just wish that people would not be so in your face about things... so divisive. Then again there always have been and are those among us who just like to yell at others. It makes them feel better. Perhaps the yelling quiets fears. Maybe we should take a closer look at that as well. 

Not everyone shares the same path of trying to journey on and through this pandemic tunnel – or life, for that matter.  Individual choice counts for something as well.  So does the right to make those choices.  Sometimes people have enough of their own After Effects to deal with; they don’t need the added burden of sharing the weight of others’ choices… or of others’ fears. “Covid fearful” is a real thing. It is all around us. It seeps into all the cracks. Here’s hoping that the loss of respect for others is not the ultimate After Effect. Wish I knew at least some of the answers to all these questions.  I don’t. I don’t even pretend that I do. The After Effects live on…. They often make me take a slow deep breath… then exhale even more slowly. A slow deep breath is calming.