Merry Christmas....

Have been reminiscing about Christmases past off and on for a while now. 'Tis the season. Not sure what triggered that, but had fun thinking about my Dad putting up lights -- definitely not his forte - or favorite pastime -- and about my Mom busy in the kitchen preparing all our family favorites from scratch ... for what seemed like days on end. Our home smelled so mouth-wateringly yummy! And then there was the wonder of the midnight church service on Christmas Eve. The candles were so welcoming.  Christmas is a season really -- weeks of special festivities -- all around exciting -- perhaps especially so for a child. 

I recalled the time I ruined my own Christmas when, after exhausting many possibilities, I discovered a hidden cache of presents tucked away on the high shelf in the hall closet.  I opened them all and then rewrapped them.  No surprises that year.  In fact it was an early dreading of having to wear the sweater that my mom had selected for me.  (We never did have the same taste in clothes.  She was a matching outfit sort of person with appropriate jewelry, and I was a jeans/sweatshirt person with appropriate socks. That was just the way it was.  It was okay. We came to respect each other's choices...eventually.)

Then came thoughts of the Sears Catalog -- the Wish Book.  Oh how I miss that catalog.  I used to go through it again and again -- wishing for this and that.  Then, after the holidays, I would cut special parts out and make a shoe box house with pictures of appliances and furniture.  Ah... the good olde days....  Bubble lights, wooden toys, good food, fires in the fireplace, falling asleep on the floor with my head on the family dog.  Ah Dutchess, you were a fine and patient dog.

Then came thoughts of not so fun wintery and holiday things  -- plastic bread bags on your feet to keep them dry in boots that always leaked, the constant smell of wet wool, as well as chapped lips and wrists. I particularly hated having to wear scratchy holiday dresses with short ouchy sleeves and bows that tied in the back. I thought, also, of breaking my wrist ice-skating in my new ice skates the day after Christmas.  That's what you get when showing off by grabbing onto the the end of a whip.  You skaters know what that is.  I was a stupid 8 year old at the time, but ...  I did get to go back to school after Christmas vacation with an impressive cast to show off...  so there was a plus side.  Ah youth... if only that were the only stupid thing I did....

Times have changed and do offer some positives.  Waterproof coats that are filled with goose down or a good substitute, clothes that are flexible and soft boots that do not leak, a veritable deluge of catalogs to browse through, improvements in food preparation that save time, ChapStick and longer sleeves/mittens .... I even learned not to grab on to the end of an ice-skating whip.  Sometimes change is a good thing.  Sometimes it is important for me to remember that.

Times also have changed though in the family who are present.  That is the way of life. These "changes" make all holidays times of mixed emotions -- deeply poignant. I want to remember all of that -- always. I want to remember that it is especially important to be kind during these times. It is a journey that we all share. We are all missing people we love. Perhaps this "missing" is especially hard at Holiday times.

I am thankful for memories of Christmases past and thankful, too, for the Christmases now and to come.  Merry Christmas! Let's hope we are all able to make some wonderful memories and especially --  to be a good part of memories for others.  

Sometimes there are memories...

Today a thought popped into my head -- not sure why. I decided to run with it -- probably because it makes me smile and also because it brings back some fun and goofy memories of times with my sister while we were growing up. I miss her (it will be three years this week since she left us). I have lots of those fun growing up memories and of other times we shared later on as well; that is good. I hang on to them. They are treasures. Wish we could have had more time ...  thankful for the time we did have.   ... to continue ....

I have won two trophies in my entire life.  (It's not an impressive trophy list.) One was in a summer program called Jr. Golf and everyone got a trophy of some sort... so they basically meant nothing. I think I was about 10.  Anyway -- I won the end of the season trophy for being a good sport.  My sister and I thought of it as the "good loser" trophy. In truth I have never enjoyed golf. Neither did my sister.  Actually, she was more of an indoor person.  Think I referred to her more than once as a house plant. She loved me in spite of that. She loved me in spite of a lot of younger sibling shenanigans.  But -- back to the golf thing and to continue my rambling -- I don't like playing, watching or hearing about it. For me the best part of Jr. Golf was getting to walk around outside.  Now golf carts have pretty much ruined that aspect as far as I can tell.  Does anyone walk a golf course anymore? Does anyone walk just to be outside -- for the fun of it?  I see very few in my travels...  By the way, I find walking to be a lovely pastime.  I should do it more. (My sister came to love walking outside as well. She was at the expert walker level for sure. She should have had a trophy for that.)  By the way -- my Jr. Golf trophy eventually disintegrated.  I think it was made partially out of a coconut. So - I am now down to just one remaining trophy and the last time I saw it, I think it was damaged somehow - can't remember exactly how. Don't care really.

Anyway -- this "last trophy standing" is the one I won in my high school days.  My speech teacher convinced me to enter an area competition in original oration. I was too afraid of her to decline. (A smile from her was a rarity indeed. She also had rather severe facial expressions and remarkably hairy arms. Those are the three things that stand out the most in my memory. Can't help it.) I still have that trophy somewhere in my book room -- probably pushed back behind books on a shelf somewhere.  My books tend to be two deep on those shelves.  I need more shelves but the ones I do have already run from floor to ceiling in that room, and I simply don't know where else I could put more. Books seem to be stacking up all over the place these days. (I do not like electronic readers.) Anyway -- my sister dubbed it the "gift of gab trophy".  It makes me laugh to think about.  She took the time to write me a little note of congratulations as she was away at college at the time.  Wish I still had that note... probably do if I could remember where I put it.  I hope someday to run across the box where I stored all such treasures.  In the meantime - there are the memories. I cherish them. They all seem to run together sometimes; don't they? 

Now that I think of it -- I just wish I had made a trophy to give to my sister - it would be a best ever sister trophy and it would be impressive... and it would not fall apart. Knowing her, she would have placed it in a position of honor somewhere in her home office.  Her office held all sorts of treasures - each one with memories of its own. Yep. Sometimes there are memories.