Mixed Bag

In my experience, people tend not to talk about the advantages of being "older".  I love to have this conversation. It doesn't happen nearly enough, even though it sure beats talking about aches and pains; that's for sure.  There are definitely some nice things that come with being a senior citizen.  You sort of learn to take the good with the not-so-good. I like to emphasize the good stuff. At some point, I will write about that specifically.  But ... for now ....

If you are about my age, you will understand the following. By the time one becomes a septuagenarian, one has learned a bit about how fragile life is, about how fast it can change, about coincidences, and about how the small things may turn out to be the most wonderful or terrible bits of one's life. One single moment can last a lifetime. Some are beyond wonderful. Others -- cloud and hang on.

Was reading a Fredrik Backman book recently entitled My Friends.  I have read several of his books -- always find them thought-provoking. There is a lot to think about in this one. Think I may have even written about this particular book before. Anyway ... in this one, Backman writes at one point about Heaven.  One of the characters speculates that an eternity of one moment in life when a person felt really good is what your Heaven will be.  Got me to thinking -- is it possible to pick that one moment in an entire lifetime that felt the best... a moment of a feeling of joy that you would want to last an eternity?  I just don't know. I have many wonderful moments to consider.  Hope you do as well.

Sometimes, though, I wonder if the bad memories do come in stronger than the good ones.  Those are the moments when you fought back tears because you knew if you let them start, they would never stop.  (Backman wrote about that as well.) We have all been there.  Thinking back on those dark times, I think that, if possible, it is most important to remember those other moments -- the ones of unbounded joy. Hopefully the light can drive out the dark.

This contrasting mix of light and dark - of happiness and sadness - is a part of living that is hard for me to describe.  I am no Fredrik Backman. No doubt about it.  Life is not dull ... a mixed bag for certain.

It will be fun, they said.

Thankful that English is my native language for many reasons, but today I am thinking once again, about how fun American English is and about why it is so hard to figure out why it is fun.  Certain expressions gain popularity for some unknown and unpredictable reason and whenever you hear them -- it brings a smile or a pause.  You notice the play on words or maybe get some sense of the "underneath" humor intended.  Can't explain why or how this even comes to be.  Consider...

On Facebook the other day, I watched Fredrik Backman, one of my favorite authors, speaking at some gathering. He was self-deprecating and funny - making everyone laugh when talking about his feelings of standing up in front of them at the suggestion of his agent and others.  He brought the house down with something like - Take this speaking engagement, they said. "It will be fun,  they said".  I thought that was very funny  -  especially in combination with his facial expressions. Why though?  Why did I (and what seemed like everyone there) find that funny? How do these expressions come into being and spread like wildfire?  

In search of an answer, I asked my new friend AI (artificial intelligence -- that  I have come to think of as AL -- short for Alfred -- my personal nickname).  Although the exact origin seems to be a bit of an internet mystery, the phrase is a current popular Internet Meme. Al tells me that, interestingly enough, the concept's origin dates back to WWII with the classic military expression of frustration and complaint -- "See the world, they said".  Later on that phrase or a variation of it appeared in TV's MASH and more currently in video games in the 90's such as Warcraft 2.   Even more recently (in the memes of  2010-2012) it became the "go-to caption for images of people enduring miserable camping trips, DIY disasters, or chaotic family events" (AI Overview). "Build a pool, they said. It will be fun, they said."  Anyone who has ever taken care of a pool gets the humor in that.  Anyway ...

Next on my list to explore is:    Be afraid. Be very afraid.  Is this a threat one should take seriously? Or ... what about the origin of "Sh** eating grin"??? Perhaps I don't really want to know about this last one....

Do such things only appear in American English? Our language is chocked full of odd expressions that make sense perhaps only to us.  Personally  -- I think we Americans are an interesting and fun people. Unfortunately our language is difficult for non Americans. Try to figure out American expressions, they said.  It will be fun, they said.

Big brothers... little sisters...

Having worked with my share of teenagers for almost 30 years, I understand what the Swedish author, Fredrik Backman, is saying when describing a person of that particular age in one of his novels. Backman writes: “…a teenager..., with all the divinely sanctioned charmlessness and impoliteness this entailed, sat at one end of the table like an irritable accessory”.  And – although I love that description and have encountered such surliness over the years, it is somewhat stereotypical and not one I have encountered with my own preteen and teenage grandkids. In fact, I find them fun to be around and to be active participants in my life. One grandson, having navigated those teenage years with success, is now classified as an adult. Where does the time go? Anyway -- moving on as time tends to do -- all my grandkids are clever and have great senses of humor -- humor that they are not afraid to share. The following is a case in point.

Just last weekend my one teenage grandson texted me a “phone photo” of his little sister asleep in the car as they were traveling on a family outing. She is eleven.  I didn’t notice it at first, but after he texted me the second time with a painstakingly kind explanation, I noticed that he had carefully stacked several coins on her sweet, little preteen forehead. There she was -- sound asleep -- a little angel with thick braids... and a large stack of coins protruding from her head. (How did I not notice that at first glance?  I guess I was admiring her shiny thick braids.)  Anyway -- after I stopped laughing, while at the same time wondering what she would later describe as waking up to coins raining down her face, I texted him that his uncle would be proud.   You see  -- his uncle was/is a big brother with a little sister too handy not to torment while growing up. Especially when they both were still living at home, he always found teasing to be something he could not resist. One of his favorite things for a while was to just pick her up and move her if he wanted the spot where she was sitting -- a tendency that she found most annoying.  Is this a big brother syndrome of some sort? Is being the target of teasing merely a part of being the little sister? Or – does it just run in my family?  You tell me. 

I, personally, never had a big brother… although … I did have a close family friend who seemed to love to torment me off and on… sort of like a brother.  But the thing is – I could escape from him as we didn’t live in the same house.  My daughter and granddaughter didn’t/don’t have that option.  Even now that both my kids are adult and on their own -- just this week my daughter’s big brother posted nutty pictures on Facebook in “honor” of his little sister’s birthday. It continues.  I have to say that I eagerly await the payback. At this stage that sort of thing is really sort of fun.

As I do tend to look on the bright side, the thing is that I personally think it is a blessing to grow up with a big brother in that it sort of forces the little sister to develop a sense of how to cope with such antics. I am thinking, for example, that my granddaughter at least was able to keep the forehead coins. Hope so. That would be a plus. Both my daughter and granddaughter are much better sports about things like this than I am. Is it because of the big brother thing?  Just askin’.