Freedom...

 

With all that is going on in the world this week, I was hesitant to even post a blog – especially this particular one.  Hope I made the correct decision….  I wrote this entry before the takeover of Kabul which … as we know… may send all women in Afghanistan, young and old, back to the 13^th century.

 

One personal truth is that I have never been one who reacts well to being told what to do.  This attitude had “consequences” while growing up --- as you may well imagine.  I never could shake it.  I am even actually sort of proud of it now and then. It takes courage sometimes to go against the flow – especially when people in power are being mean and nasty about things. It seems to me that there are way too many people telling me what to do and how to live my life these days.  I am not reacting well to this.  I bristle. I am thinking that you may understand the feeling.

I remember when I moved the second year into my career as an English Instructor.  A new job brought me back to Pennsylvania where my classroom was in a garage behind the main school building.  My new room was unique -complete with a door that opened one entire side “wall” from the bottom up.  It was pretty cool – sort of an air-conditioning system in and of itself – not so good in the winter or when it was raining. My students (who were mega fun, by the way) and I were all relieved when a “man door” was added to the design. Anyway -- the mornings were nippy “out back behind” as the school year moved through October toward November.  Remember – this is in Northwest Pennsylvania. I decided one day to wear wool cuffed wool slacks to school -- along with a sweater, jacket, thick socks and warm shoes.  Apparently, a woman in dress wool pants was a no no.  I received a stern rebuke from my principal (note that I did not capitalize the title). That did not sit well with me.  I replied sweetly, through somewhat gritted teeth, that I would consider wearing what he told me to wear if he would give me a clothing allowance. Wish I could have thought of something more clever, but his attitude caught me off guard. Anyway - others must have heard about this because slacks became suddenly popular among the preciously skirted. I loved these people and I didn’t even know their names yet. It was a bit of a silent support system. I worked for this school district for almost 30 more years and sometimes I wore slacks – even jeans on dress-down days. That principal barely lasted through that one year – in fact – I think he actually left before the end of the year.  Just sayin’ – I have seen suits come and I have seen them go – but – that is not the point of this this writing …. 

Then there was the time when I talked back to a police officer who had asked me to move my car. Not smart on my part at all, but… he didn’t ask me nicely. I didn’t respond well to that.  Long story short - my smarty pants response did not work well for me. I moved my car – luckily no hand cuffs were involved. The point is that I think it is important to ask nicely and not to discount the thinking of others. People have reasons for the things that they do and for what they say.  They also have reasons for things that they choose not to do/say and that fact needs to be considered as well.  In either situation – none of these reasons are really anyone else’s business. In these times ham fisted, shaming and cancel culture are running rampant.  I do not react well to any of that.  I am pleased to see that there are others who are also inclined to bristle and to resist this bullying behavior that some have from time to time described as ugly, arrogant, self-righteous..., and condescending. I get that.

The thing is – it is not a matter of black and white – there are shades of gray.  Each extreme has its reasons – probably each with at least some validity.  It boils down to a difference of opinion. That’s all. I think it is okay to disagree.  Wouldn’t the world be a boring place if we all liked the same things?  It would also be creepy… sort of like watching those masses of people in Communist China all dressed alike while performing their morning exercises in unison. Wait. What?  Think about it. Perhaps we should cherish our right to disagree and honor and respect the freedoms we have in the United States of America. Perhaps we should be a little nicer to those with whom we may disagree… even really listen to each other. I know that I would appreciate it seeing as I do not react well to being told what to do… especially if people are being condescending or tyrannical about it.  While I am on a bit of a rant -- I also detest all fear mongering. The generation of fear is a most effective manipulation tool.  It has worked for – well – always. Scary when you think about it. Come to think of it, fear mongering works as well as guilt inducing.

One nice thing about getting older is that I don’t even have to think about telling my kids what to do anymore.  It’s a huge relief now that they are adults.  Seriously.  It takes the pressure off.  They get to figure it all out now on their own. I sometimes watch if I am not too busy goofing off. I love that about adult children. I love that about getting older.  Now that I think about it – I may harbor some unpopular beliefs, but I am an adult and am not your responsibility either. You don’t get to decide what I do or not do or what I say or do not say.  Yep. Plus – I don’t tell you what you should or should not do/say.  I don’t even pretend to be that smart.

Now that I have that off my chest – thanks for reading and have a lovely day.  Enjoy your freedoms – especially those of choice and speech. Live your life on your own terms. One thing for sure – I won’t be the one telling you what those terms should be.