Unknown Caller...

A couple of weeks ago I had just settled down to an evening of quiet relaxation and mind numbing television when the phone rang, and for some unknown reason -- I actually answered it in spite of Caller ID indicating that it may have been some potential scammer targeting the elders of America -- the Unknown Caller. (Notice I did not use the term elderly in the previous sentence?) Anyway -- since I now know how to use the pause button on my Roku remote, and because I just felt adventurous, I picked the phone off the charger and braved a strong hello. Whoa -- I could actually understand the person calling -- a real person, not just a recording from the IRS calling from their cell phone -- telling me that they were suing me and that I needed to contact them immediately. On the other end of the "line" was a nice woman named Ann, asking me to take a survey. I agreed to do so, basically because she spoke English like a native-born American (possibly from New Jersey or Eastern Pennsylvania), and... I knew I could hang up at any time I wanted.  

It is so lovely to be in total control of your own phone.  (I will never forget the day that I realized, for example, that I didn't have to answer my phone just because it rang. My kids informed me of this -- repeatedly -- until I finally "got it".  Anyway -- this ignoring the ringing phone was a huge step toward a new found freedom - second only to blocking calls from a former college wanting money. Huge.... Since then I marvel at my regained powers... at least phone wise. I sometimes feel that next to Scotch tape, Caller ID and Call Blocking are the best inventions ever. Do want to mention though that I never did become attached to my Answering Machine, Voice Mail or the rudest technology of all time  -- the Caller Waiting option. I always hang up when put on hold...always...except if I am calling the pizza shop.  Some things are worth the wait...but it is still rude.) 

Back to the survey call itself -- for the next few minutes I answered harmless questions of a non-personal variety and then discovered, once again, that I am woefully ignorant about many political issues. That is what happens when you ban all newspapers and TV news shows from your home to keep the bad news out - even if it is only for a few months at a time. I used to think that this ignorance was a bad thing -- a personal weakness. Now?  I don't really care. I ease any residual discomfort and appease any trace of guilt by turning on CNN once in a while...and ... usually I regret this decision. It is uncomfortable, however, to be reminded, as in this survey, that I basically have lost all faith in politicians, and in governmental proceedings...or almost all.  

Anyway -- bet you have taken a survey like this one before yourself in a moment of weakness.  The process got me to thinking about how I could have dealt with this intrusion into my private time.  When Ann asked me if I had a few moments to answer a short list of questions I could have said, "Sure" and then said: " But first, Ann, -- I am curious about a couple of things..." 

• How are you? Are you having a good day? Do you find that most people are nice to you on the phone? Or...?   
• Do you get paid well for doing these surveys?  Do you earn under or over minimum wage? What is minimum wage in your state?  What state is that? In general, how do you feel about your pay on a scale from 1 - 5 with 5 indicating that you are totally satisfied?
• Do you get paid by the number of people you call or by the number of completed surveys? Do they deduct pay when people hang up on you? Are your feelings hurt when people do so?
• What company or political party are you really working for?  Are you sitting in a back room of the White House right now?
• Are you, by any chance, as apathetic as I find myself to be?  Do you care? On a scale from 1 - 5....
• What is your highest level of education? How old are you? Really? You sound younger.
• Do you have other jobs, or is this full time?
• Do you own your own home? 
• Do you live in the city or in the boonies?
• What would you be doing if you were not doing this survey?
• Do you have any idea of what time zone you are calling?  Do you care?
• Are you planning on buying a new car within the next 5 years? If so what make/model do you think it will be? Will you buy it new or used?
• How did you get my phone number? Did you have to pay for it?  
• Have I brightened your day?

The list could go on and on.  I didn't pose any of these questions, but I did manage to make Ann laugh out loud more than once, so it was totally worth my time. Our time together was actually sort of fun. She told me that she had enjoyed speaking with me.  Then, in contrast -- at 9 PM on Memorial Day I received another one of those calls that Caller ID has trouble identifying.  This one was from Windows - yet again - worrying about my computer that must have been communicating its discomfort to them in some miraculous way. Are you laughing yet?  I simply do not know a person who has not received a multitude of these calls from this Windows of an unspecified company.   I hung up.  Wouldn't you think that the person in charge of this particular scam would caution his/her callers to take a day off on the United States' Memorial Day? Seriously.... Perhaps I should have explained this to the person on the other end of my phone, but  -- honestly -- I am not certain she would have understood me. It would have been unkind to turn the tables on her. I know I had trouble understanding one single word she was reading from her script -- other than the Windows part. She was no Ann.  I can't help wonder what country she was calling from and how/if she gets paid? These calls are exhausting. Would you agree? 

The thing is -- what if the next time my Caller ID is clueless there is another nice Ann at the other end of the call?  I could practice my questions and see what happens. I would hate to miss that.  I am thinking that I may answer the phone just in case. I can always hang up.