Rewards...

It's interesting to listen to people talk about how they reward themselves for goals that they have accomplished, for jobs well done or -- for just surviving a tough day or a difficult situation.  Often the rewards are food and drink related like a glass of wine or snow-day brownies warm from the oven, or... vanilla cupcakes with chocolate buttercream frosting served with hot chocolate. Sometimes retail therapy is mentioned -- either hands-on shopping or online. Both seem to work. The day spa is also popular as are basic manicures and pedicures. Yet -- too often there is guilt involved in the reward process -- like we don't deserve a little treat now and then -- and this guilt comes up in the conversation as well. Seriously... this tendency for feeling bad when we didn't do anything wrong is not a good thing. Where is it coming from?

Why shouldn't people reward themselves a little bit for doing the hard job well or for putting one foot in front of the other on a particularly difficult day? I think there may be too much a tendency to be self-critical these days. I don't know where exactly to cast the blame and maybe if I did that would help.  For example -- I know that I am not alone in sometimes feeling guilty about what I am eating or not eating - so much so that some days I don't enjoy eating at all. Stupid.  I know people who worry often about if their family is suffering because they need to spend a little extra time at work...or because they took a little time for themselves to regroup.  Some have even told me that they sometimes suffer and worry because they couldn't provide a this or a that for their spouse or child(ren).  We are tough on ourselves for sure.  Where does this all come from?

Oh, how I wish I had an answer to that question. It's time to take stock.  We need to give ourselves a break at some point. This is a fast-paced world we live in. We need to find comfort in our own lives and our own families and friends -- in our community.  We need to acknowledge to ourselves that working hard and trying counts. We need to see the positive and to make at least a mental list of the things we are doing right. We need to relax a bit and enjoy this gift of life as we work our way through. Seriously -- we need to take pride in ourselves when we do well.

Does anyone out there hear me?  Agree?  If so, relax, take a bubble bath or a long walk... and maybe even have a slice of pizza (personally I prefer Augie's) or -- take a Sunday afternoon nap. You are worth it. The world will not fall into pieces. Trust me -- I know this from experience.