Message to Me at Holiday Time...

What's up with the generation gap?  Does it still exist?  It used to be a big deal back in the 60's.  Are we two generations away from that now?  Or ... is the generation gap just a thing that always is there between one generation and another? There are a lot of questions for which I simply do not have an answer.  

A couple of weeks ago, I asked my brilliant granddaughter for advice on a tricky and awkward situation.  She laughed out loud at the mere thought that I was asking her, an almost 15 year old for advice, but... I was most serious.  Not only is she smart, but she is also an old soul, if you know what I mean, and her advice was not only smart -- it was hysterically funny.  I will go to her again if need be. Her "take on things" and  laughter are a constant joy to me.

Anyway -- the exchange got me to thinking about gaps between generations. I am certain that some are unavoidable but others can be avoided -- at least I hope so. I am trying.  First -- let me be clear on this.  My kids and grandkids are great with me.  I can always ask them who some "famous" person is, or what something means and they are excellent and kind in the way they bring me up to date. That is just one of the things that I love about them.  I sometimes have a hard time keeping up with this world ... maybe because I don't always pay attention. Having said that ...The following is what I tell myself, or try to remember to tell myself, when interacting with my kids and grandkids or people of their ages... when trying to bridge the gap... if there is one.  Message to me...

• First and foremost is listen. Be curious. There is a lot that you don't know. This goes along with always remember that you don't know everything and it may even be fun to learn a few new things. I am getting old.  So what?  It could be just the latest adventure. I so want to be good at it. 
• Don't offer advice unless asked and even then be very careful. Be curious rather than judgmental.  Today's world is a whole lot different than it used to be. Some things never change ... but a lot of things do. 
• Be positive even if you are cranky or ache somewhere.  Don't overshare physical challenges or health complaints. I know you know what I mean when I say that.  A wise person once said -- "You are responsible for the energy you bring into a room." Who was that who said that? I would like to invite them over for coffee.  We could laugh about "stuff".
• Try not to be an obstacle. Be aware of others' space.  i.e. Don't stop suddenly in front of other people or block the way just because you need to put your boots on or are doing something like trying not to fall down.  Figure it out.
• Don't be afraid to laugh at yourself. You do funny things even when you don't mean to. If you laugh first, it takes the pressure off of others who find you amusing for whatever reason.  Laughter is good medicine.
• Don't act helpless just because you feel lazy.  It's annoying to busy people and it's dangerous to surrender your independence even in small ways. It could become a habit and it's not good for you.
• Remember that it's totally okay to take a nap once in a while -- no matter how old you are.  Even young people need a nap now and then.  A perk of naps is also that they are a remedy for cranky.  Cranky is not a good thing. It is especially nasty in older people who should know better.
• Take some pride in your appearance.  No one wants to look at or be around an unkempt person in clothes that they may or may not have slept in.
• And finally... I often tell myself -- because I sometimes enjoy being dramatic -- remember my wonderful Mom's advice to never, ever make old lady noises, like moans and groans, when you are trying to get into a pickup truck or out of a chair. It's not necessary and uses up energy that could be put to better use.  

Anyway -- these are the things I tell myself or try to remember to tell myself.  It keeps me going.... I think that trying counts. Writing them all down helps me to remember. 😊 The holidays are here and I want to do a good job of it.  

Meh ...

 When I think about social media -- Facebook, Twitchy, TikTok, X, etc.,  my reaction is sort of summed up in the word Meh... a word I learned on social media, by the way.  It is a word that always makes me smile (in my head) when I read it.  I have never even heard anyone use it in conversation.  I am not even sure how to pronounce it.  Meh.

Along with this M word is another M word -- the word Meme.  I have come to relish meme time ... and reels... but today the focus is memes.  I don't know why they are called that and apparently the term has been around since the mid 1970's, but I fell in love with them as my son began to text more and more of them over time and they always make me laugh -- sometimes out loud when alone.  Now that (the laughing out loud when alone) proves they are or can be funny; right?  Anyway -- I have come to the conclusion that Memes are one of the best parts of social media - perhaps second only to keeping up with family and friends...

The other day I encountered a meme that caught me off guard.  Unfortunately I had just taken a large swig of coffee when I ran across it on Facebook during that particular morning's browsing. Facebook is often the source of funny memes -- in my humble opinion. I sometimes take a photo of them to text later on to family and friends -- or just to look at later for fun.  Anyway --  I follow The Laughing Librarian because I appreciate his/her sense of humor. This particular day The LL was sharing this "WordNerd" meme that included this little known fact in a list of little known facts:

            "The word 'testify' (is) derived from a time when men were required to swear                 on their testicles."

Fun Fact.  I can't help but wonder ...   perhaps if men still had to swear on their testicles, if there would be less lying among politicians or in general.  That might be worth bringing back.  That is my thought for the day.   For what it is worth... meh....

Seriously ... Thanks for putting up with me.  Now it is time, perhaps, to start thinking about Christmas....

Heart Hugs

  

Some things are worth repeating   ...   Happy Thanksgiving!

                                 Heart Hugs 08/19/2021

Recently my granddaughter was helping me go through a bunch of photos and papers in preparation for having to move a ton of stuff so some new carpeting can be laid. She ran across some old blogs of mine and promptly cuddled down into the big reading chair in my “Book Room” to read them.  The first one that caught her eye was the one I wrote in 2015 about her dog.  It is entitled “I call her the Lovely Luna”, and she laughed out loud as she read my description of Luna rolling in bear meadow muffins while pasture prancing.  Then there was “Stranger on the Porch” in which her Uncle Garrett was featured as the hero who came to my back porch with his blow gun to try to dispatch a rabid fox.  Anyway – as I glanced back through those old blogs, I was struck by how light hearted most of them are/were.  They were pre-damncovid and pre-political unrest of great magnitude and before times of a world struggling perhaps more that ever before with all kinds of concerns.  I realized that, as I reread them, I was beginning to think in terms of the good olde days and yet -- they were really just a little while ago really.

There was “Klutz Factor” and “Klutz Factor Revisited’, “There an app for that….”, and “Presbyterian Bunnies”.  “I Cry at the Parades” was about how much I love small town America. I wrote about Tee-shirts decorated with fun sayings and about unsuccessful attempts at home repair. I wrote about upcoming elections, even including a memo that I sent to Donald Trump a year prior to the 2016 election.  I wrote about “Tchotchkes and Other Assorted Treasures”, “Scammed! Not a good feeling”, and “Mouse in the House!”.  And … I wrote about “Ladies Who Lunch” which was about my sister and her lovely friends sharing lunch with me when I was visiting in 2016.

So many….  As I was looking through them, the one that struck me the most though was “Heart Hugs” – so much so that I am going to repeat it today.  If you need to, in these days of social distancing -- you can think of these hugs as mental “air hugs”, those symbolic hugs of the damncovid times.  So – here it is – first published on 10/15/2015.  Who couldn’t use a good hug these days? Some things are worth repeating.

We go back in time together....

 I had a wonderful friend who gave what he called heart hugs.  They were the kind of hugs where you wrapped your arms around each other and pressed your hearts together.  They were indescribably wonderful.  He, being much taller than I, sometimes made these hugs hard to manage, but if I could find a step to stand on, they were perfect.  I miss him. 

Recently on Facebook someone shared a copyrighted “Photo” that made me remember these hugs.  It was a scene of Charlie Brown and Snoopy hugging.  The words? “I love the kind of hugs where you can physically feel the sadness leaving.”  I think the source was something like “You are My O2”.  It was sort of hard to see. Anyway – that is the best definition of a heart hug that I could ever imagine.  Perfect…

A wise woman once shared with me that she never passed up a hug.  She was one smart lady as she was definitely a hugger and thrived on them.  Not all people are huggers through.  I think hugging may be a learned behavior and some families are just not into it.  I am from a hugging family and sometimes I am not into it.  I get it.

Hugs are healthy in general.  Not all may be heart hugs, but all hugs are a good thing… even the ones that send your glasses flying.  I have taught my grandchildren the heart hug. Some things are worth passing on from generation to generation.   I consider it a gift from my friend to them.  They never had a chance to meet him.  I think, as he did, that it is important to share the good things, the best things about people who have passed through your life, whose lives have been a blessing.  It’s a poignant kind of immortality – if the best that was them continues on.

Heart hugs all around.

What I Learned from People Magazine

I think it was the first week of November that I received a People magazine in the mail.  It was one of those trapped in a plastic wrapper with an enclosed envelope that contained all the info on how one could subscribe.  I confess that I threw out the envelope part.  Magazines are wasted on me -- I subscribe and then never read them and wonder why I subscribed in the first place.  Anyway ... 

Diane Keaton was on the cover (I am going to miss her),  and I wanted to read the article about her, so I saved the mag and just got to it this morning. While looking through page by page I discovered some interesting things.  One is that I have no idea of who the "stars" of today are and surprising to me -- the stars of my generation are now old.  I sort of wanted them to stay the same age forever I guess.  It was shocking really -- I picture them in my head as they looked years ago and am, for some reason. surprised that they got older too.   I do know better than that but .... Then again ... I am still a fan of black and white movies.  No apologies.

Seriously -- Fonzie celebrated his 80th birthday the day before Halloween.  Richard Gere is my age and looks it ...  and ... Tiger Woods is almost 50.  Clint Eastwood has a daughter who is in her thirties and Paul Newman's daughter is just four years younger than I am.   John Lodge of the Moody Blues passed away recently at the age of 82. I know that time moves on, but guess I didn't think it was the same for everyone --    I mean -- I can still see Timmy and Lassie in my mind -- clear as day.

One more confession.  I would not recognize Taylor Swift, Sarah McLachlan, or Jennifer Lopez if I stood behind them at the Grocery Store on a slow checkout day, but if I close my eyes, I can see Janis Joplin perfectly --  and hear her voice.  The passage of time is weird.

One other thing I noticed is that I don't care a lot about certain current events that People obviously deems to be important.  Apparently someone named Katy Perry is making out on her yacht with Justin Trudeau (him I have heard about), and ... Brad Pitt, a graying 61, is living with someone who is 35. The story of Kathy Griffin is still sad and continues to be no matter how funny she thinks she is. I don't want to read about her any more.

Does any of this seem strange to others of my vintage? 

Guess that's all for now. I have had enough of People magazine for a while and again -- I am going to miss Diane Keaton ....    

Q-tips and Sturdy Poles

Received an email from a good friend of mine the other day, who among many other good things, is also a fantastic writer.  In this particular email, she was writing about the passage of time.  Children grow up and have children.  Grandchildren grow as fast as weeds, etc. Times change ... no one can keep up with technology.  She used the analogy of hanging onto a pole in a stiff wind as one works his/her way through a lifetime journey and then looks back on a lifetime of memories.  It's true.  In looking back, it seems like a blur of living in some ways and then all of a sudden you are member of the elder community with an assortment of memories ... if you are fortunate enough to have lived that long.

Just a few weeks ago, now, I had the pleasure of sharing some time with former classmates.  I joked about being referred to as a Q-tip and how I was going to adopt and embrace that term to refer to myself. Apparently Q-tip is now being used in reference to a white haired person.  It is used (hopefully) in a sort of humorous and light mockery.  Turn that mockery around.  I love that tag..  I earned every strand of white hair and am sort of proud of each lesson they show. I struggled to learn some of them ... failed to learn others ... definitely have more to learn, but am not sure my hair can get any whiter. I am a Q-tip supreme. Others of the white hair group joined in with a refreshing kind of laughter.  It was a unique moment of comradery and support. Time marches on....  quickly.  It's nice to know sometimes that you are not alone in the journey. What a lovely bunch of people the Corry Area High School Class of '67 are  -- whether or not they are Q-tips. Some do not embrace the white hair thing and that is okay too. Others have no hair, so it is a moot point.

It is also important to know that hanging on to a pole in the wind is much preferable to hanging on by a thread ...  although ... at times, off and on, the two do not seem necessarily to be totally mutually exclusive.  A good sense of humor is a gift at such times.  So is a positive attitude.  I saw a lot of both at the gathering with the CAHS Class of '67.  Go Beavers! 

Fond Memories

When I was a child my family used to travel from NW Pennsylvania to the Philadelphia area at least once a year to visit family there.  We traveled diagonally across almost the entire commonwealth on the Pennsylvania Turnpike, aka America's First Super Highway. The first section of this toll road (turnpike) was actually opened just nine years before I was born and... eventually it had seven tunnels between my house and my grandmother's.  I found it all rather amazing, but I also remember the tunnels as stinky, dark and sort of scary. I understand at least one reason why people try to hold their breath in tunnels. Anyway -- the tunnels brought together both directions of traffic into a single lane in each direction. Don't know if it is still that way. I do know that several changes have been made over the years.  Anyway -- the phrase "light at the end of the tunnel" has always had special meaning for me.  

As the years passed by though -- cross commonwealth carsickness tempered the excitement of travel.  The only thing that saved me was the sight of an orange roof.  Howard Johnson's.  The best restaurant ever.  The best ice cream ever.  28 flavors!  We would stop for one meal along the way.  For me it was always "Grilled Frankforts and Boston Baked Beans with Brown Bread" which, by the way,  cost under a dollar. (I ran across an old menu on eBay recently so I know this is accurate.) My big sister had more expensive tastes in food -- always preferring to order the "Crispy Fried Chicken dinner for a little over $2.00.  It came with cranberry sauce, French fries and coleslaw.  Makes my mouth water to even remember. My dad used to grumble that the chicken would take a half an hour, but always let her order it anyway.  I think the grumble was part of his "Dad" routine. 

All the Howard Johnson restaurants are gone now.  I think the last one was in Lake George, NY.  It was sold and closed in 2023.  Odd thing -- I used to live about 12 miles from Lake George and I never knew that there was a Howard Johnson restaurant there.  Drat.  However... the  childhood HoJo memories remain.... a favorite meal and an ice cream cone on the way out to eat in the car.  Nice. I will just hang on to those small bits of childhood ....  No harm in that.

The Foul Mouth Club

 The politically far left Democrats are sort of grasping at straws at the moment.  They are not in power, and don't seem to have a way to find their way forward. Floundering might be an appropriate word to describe their behaviors. Dangerous "flounderers".  They are ungracious losers and are blaming everyone but themselves. I feel sorry for all the good Democrats I know -- hard working, honest people who care about their country.  Those currently in power in the Democratic party offer no ideas of how to change or improve anything and have fallen into the weak spot of trying to tear down the opposition instead of building themselves a way to regain some popularity, by actually doing something constructive. If you find yourself disagreeing with me -- name one thing the Democratic party is doing -- one constructive thing. One. You must do this without mentioning the name of anyone currently in power. No bashing, no name-calling ...  no mention of Trump nor any member of his leadership team.  Can you build up your side without tearing down another? Until you are able to do this, some would say that there is no hope for you. Others would say -- time to get over your TDS. The USA above all.

I am watching the middle of the road and leftist Democrats.  An election day is near. It appears that the middle of the roaders have been silenced under threats of penalties/cancelations. As for the Left  -- I have not seen any plans, just complaints, frowns and meanness, not to mention destruction of others' property ... and now, desperate for attention ...  they seem to be thinking that singing, dressing up in costumes, and dancing may help.  It is all painful to watch. So much anger and hostility in their frustration of not getting their own way.  And the destruction and violence are unforgivable. The latest insanity though is the tendency of those leftist extremists and some middle of the roaders to think that maybe swearing will help.  It's not working.  It, too, is pathetic. Seriously -- pathetic.  I am embarrassed for those of the foul mouth club. 

Some people on the right like to make suggestions on how they, the Democratic party now under control of the extreme leftist movement, might help themselves regain some respect and move forward from the depths. Why?  I say if they refuse to give up blaming others and continue to do nothing constructive,  let them flounder until they find their own way out of the holes they have dug.  The search and hard lessons are a positive thing. Let them make their mistakes. Acknowledgement of failure might lead them to some well needed introspection.  That's how I learned many hard lessons, and I know I am not alone in this process.  Why should they be any different?   Besides ... while they are floundering, others can put the country back together and advance into a positive future.  Actually ... it seems to me that is the part, the success part, that the foul mouth club hates the most.  Go ahead.  Swear all you want.  You  need to know, though, it's not a good look and ... It's not going to help. Meanwhile those you hate are trying to make the entire world a better, safer place for all.