What's up with the generation gap? Does it still exist? It used to be a big deal back in the 60's. Are we two generations away from that now? Or ... is the generation gap just a thing that always is there between one generation and another? There are a lot of questions for which I simply do not have an answer.
A couple of weeks ago, I asked my brilliant granddaughter for advice on a tricky and awkward situation. She laughed out loud at the mere thought that I was asking her, an almost 15 year old for advice, but... I was most serious. Not only is she smart, but she is also an old soul, if you know what I mean, and her advice was not only smart -- it was hysterically funny. I will go to her again if need be. Her "take on things" and laughter are a constant joy to me.
Anyway -- the exchange got me to thinking about gaps between generations. I am certain that some are unavoidable but others can be avoided -- at least I hope so. I am trying. First -- let me be clear on this. My kids and grandkids are great with me. I can always ask them who some "famous" person is, or what something means and they are excellent and kind in the way they bring me up to date. That is just one of the things that I love about them. I sometimes have a hard time keeping up with this world ... maybe because I don't always pay attention. Having said that ...The following is what I tell myself, or try to remember to tell myself, when interacting with my kids and grandkids or people of their ages... when trying to bridge the gap... if there is one. Message to me...
- First and foremost is listen. Be curious. There is a lot that you don't know. This goes along with always remember that you don't know everything and it may even be fun to learn a few new things. I am getting old. So what? It could be just the latest adventure. I so want to be good at it.
- Don't offer advice unless asked and even then be very careful. Be curious rather than judgmental. Today's world is a whole lot different than it used to be. Some things never change ... but a lot of things do.
- Be positive even if you are cranky or ache somewhere. Don't overshare physical challenges or health complaints. I know you know what I mean when I say that. A wise person once said -- "You are responsible for the energy you bring into a room." Who was that who said that? I would like to invite them over for coffee. We could laugh about "stuff".
- Try not to be an obstacle. Be aware of others' space. i.e. Don't stop suddenly in front of other people or block the way just because you need to put your boots on or are doing something like trying not to fall down. Figure it out.
- Don't be afraid to laugh at yourself. You do funny things even when you don't mean to. If you laugh first, it takes the pressure off of others who find you amusing for whatever reason. Laughter is good medicine.
- Don't act helpless just because you feel lazy. It's annoying to busy people and it's dangerous to surrender your independence even in small ways. It could become a habit and it's not good for you.
- Remember that it's totally okay to take a nap once in a while -- no matter how old you are. Even young people need a nap now and then. A perk of naps is also that they are a remedy for cranky. Cranky is not a good thing. It is especially nasty in older people who should know better.
- Take some pride in your appearance. No one wants to look at or be around an unkempt person in clothes that they may or may not have slept in.
- And finally... I often tell myself -- because I sometimes enjoy being dramatic -- remember my wonderful Mom's advice to never, ever make old lady noises, like moans and groans, when you are trying to get into a pickup truck or out of a chair. It's not necessary and uses up energy that could be put to better use.
Anyway -- these are the things I tell myself or try to remember to tell myself. It keeps me going.... I think that trying counts. Writing them all down helps me to remember. 😊 The holidays are here and I want to do a good job of it.
